Dr Oz: When Are You Too Old To Have A Baby?


Dr Oz: Having Babies After 40

Miraculous achievements have been made in science that allows women to conceive far beyond their latter years. On today’s Dr Oz Show, he asked, when are you too old to have a baby? For years, women have been told to take their time and build their careers, but was this good advice? Can women really have it all? Here is what Dr. Oz said that the latest studies are saying:


  1. says

    in my opinion the ideal age is from 20 to 30. Over 40 the chances of mongolism is increasing.
    Women having babies in their 50’s and later, are not miraculous but stupid. Did they ever think about the feelings of the child when his mother come to take him from school and his friends think it’s his grandmother!!! Did they think that they can die before the child grows up ? and who will take care of him ?

  2. Rubykate says

    Janine, the term “mongolism” is outdated and offensive. So is your thinking. I had my first child at 40. My sister had hers at 28. She died when that child was 6. I am still here. Everyone should think about who will care for their child if they should die. I don’t care if someone thinks I am my child’s grandma. Neither does my child. Maybe that is something that comes with maturity. Not caring what others think.

  3. SarahC says

    All these years, after having 2 healthy girls (ages 19 and 14), I still feel ready to have a child. I would give anything to experience this miracle with a caring man that I missed the first time around. I feel that my clock is ticking for the first time and would love to have another child. I am just over 40 and would never think that I am too old. Yes, your eggs are your number age but let a doctor decide if you are healthy enough to run this or not; not some individual whose opinion is jaded.

  4. angela says

    I also in my fourty’s I had a child die at age 20. Do I want another child yes I do. That child would be very well cared for and loved by all. And if I should die. He or she would always know they were wanted and very much loved. Because their father would always tell them.
    I do believe 50 and 60 would be wrong and I would never do that. But kootoes to who can and have there child cared for. But I also believe in adoption. Which is also expensive and I think that puts a child in the system to long. They need a home and love. Not moved around until the money can be paid they just need a loving caring adult.

  5. M says

    Hi, There is alot of talk about women over 40 but I have two things going on people tend to judge and just wonder what peoples opinions here are. First I am with the most amazing man we are getting married this year. Thing is, he many years older than I am (Not that I care what people think) but I, like one of the ladies above just feel that I want to have a child with the right person this time(I have a wonderful son from first relationship who is now 9) I feel I want this opportunity to do it right. We want to have another child. I am in the “healthy range” but he is 59. Opinions?
    I am sure there will be a few,please be kind.. Thank you

  6. Rubykate says

    If you are in a strong committed relationship and you and your partner agree that he will play an active part in that child’s life, even though he is a bit older, I would go for it. Good luck to you!!

  7. Rachel says

    Just found out I was pregnant yesterday. I am in total shock. I will be 40 next week. I was not trying to get pregnant. In fact I was told that I would not be able to get pregnant naturally.

  8. Tina says

    Had my first child at 34 and my second at 38. Am approaching 42 now. Sometimes I feel like I’d like to have another, but not really sure. So hubby and I have decided to leave it in God’s hands. I am a strong believer, and I can tell you, life gets a lot easier when you trust in God and not try to control everything. I’m sure many of you will disagree, but that’s ok. 🙂

  9. Paulette says

    I have a 17-month-old son and I turned 41 just a few days ago. I had NO problems getting pregnant at 38.5 years of age. I don’t think anyone truly knows (including doctors) why it is easier for some women of the same age to get pregnant naturally and other women who don’t. My sister-in-law tried for over a year at age 34 to get pregnant and was finally successful. Everyone can give opinions, but no one really knows why some can and some can’t get pregnant and have healthy babies at older ages. We are also contemplating having a 3rd child, but if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. But, our first two were very much planned and we were pregnant the first month of trying with both. (I was 29 a conception with the first one).

  10. Maggie says

    I think forty is not too old if you want it I had my 3 kid at the age 37 and everyone told me I was to old but I felt it was right my little girl is healthy and happy and a joy in my life. what I’m trying to say if your forty and want a baby go for it.

  11. Rose says

    I had my daughter when I was 40 years old. She’s absolutely perfect! :-). I’m now 44 and have been trying to have a baby for two years. I’ve lost four pregnancies in those two years. Right now I’m trying to decide if I’m reallly two old to have a baby. I would love to give my daughter a sibling, but I don’t want to die trying! :-(.

  12. Erika says

    I am 39 and have two beautiful boys ages 16 months and 3 months. I got pregnant with my first son after trying for five months. I was breastfeeding my first when I got pregnant with my second. I frilly believe that each woman is different. For some it is easy to get pregnant even being older. For others it is hard even if they are younger. I believe that if women we not meant to have children after 35 then we would all go into instant menopause on our 35th birthday. A woman is too old to have a baby only when her body decides it’s time to quit. Until then I believe that it is society making women become uncomfortable about becoming mothers when they are older because we have this idea that a mom is someone who is young and the very idea of seeing a 40+ old woman pushing a baby around and being a mom destroys this image.

  13. Beth says

    I am 46 years old and have 3 children- a son age 11, a daughter age 9 and our beautiful 2 year old baby girl. I was 43 when our baby was conceived – totally naturally and quite a surprise to my husband and myself…but what a wonderful miracle and blessing she has been for our whole family, She was born full term in June, 2010 healthy and perfect at 7lbs 14oz….and I was 44 when she came into this world. I feel so privelged and honored that I get to be a mom all over again, I feel like I am enjoying all the baby stuff so much more, no panic…just joy at watching her grow! I would do it again in an minute…even at 46!!!

  14. Mel says

    I am 38 years old and pregnant with my 3rd and final baby. I had no problems getting pregnant at an older age. Matter a fact, it was the first month we tried. I do not feel “old”. I feel much wiser than I was when I had my first at 23 years old. I have much more patience. I know age can play in the factors of getting pregnant, however their are plenty of women in their 20’s and early 30’s that have or are having great difficulty conceiving. Sadly, Infertility can happen at ANY age.

  15. lisa says

    I don’t believe 40 is to old to have a baby. We are not all grandmas seriously. If my man and I wanted to have another we would. We aren’t old timers walking with canes. I am 38 and am in better shape and health than when I was in my 20s. I am 116 pounds always excersise, and doubt there would be problems conceiving. Go for it ladies. It’s your body and your family. I don’t see any selfishness in that.

  16. Jennifer says

    Who uses the term mongoloid? How completely offensive.
    I am 40. My baby is due when I will be 41. I also have a 14, 4, and 3 year old.
    I’m exhausted, but I am pretty sure that’s from my preschoolers more than anything. I got pregnant easily, without trying. I think that if you are in a stable relationship and happy with your life, no matter what your age, have a baby. I for one couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me! And if someone, one day, thinks I’m my kids grandmother, so what? Although I know no one will, thank you sunscreen, moisturizer, and great genes!

  17. Lora says

    Hmmmm… Mongolism is very offensive Jenine. I had my 1st at age 19 years old and my second at 36 years old. I had no trouble getting pregnant and I am possibly thinking about a baby at 40 years old. People are living longer these days and 40 is considered very young. Life is good.

  18. Jennifer says

    I imagine that at 19 you weren’t nearly as calm or emotionally stable as you were when you were 36.
    To be fair, my youngest, who I had at 36, is autistic. If someone ever called him a Mongoloid I would likely slap them silly. So derogatory.

  19. kelly says

    I was 41 when i discovered i was pregnant, very first pregnancy, not trying-didnt believe i could get pregnant. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but i will be trying again for as long ad God allows. Heres hoping for a healty baby in my 42nd year!

  20. says

    I think if your female organs is in good shape, you could be able to have a baby over 40, I;m a christian, according to the scriptures in the blble, elisabeth had her child at age 99 and her husband at age 100, so getting pregant at a older age could happen.

  21. Kimberly says

    I have three beautiful kids 11, 13 and 19. I am 39. I had
    my first child at 19 the other two in my late 20’s. I would love to have another one now. I am finally in a great relationship and mentally more prepared. This is my third month trying… God willing it will happen!!

  22. Stephanie says

    I had my son at 19, and tried for many years after that for another. 9 years ago, I was told BOTH tubes were scarred shut and one was a hydrosalpinx, and would need to be removed before even trying IVF, which would be my only option. 3 years ago, my husband left me because “he wanted more kids”.

    I started menopause, or so I thought, earlier this year Imagine my surprise when a little over a month ago, I was told I was SIX MONTHS pregnant! It never even dawned on me that I could be pregnant. I’m 41. I do have high blood pressure, and am being watched closely for preeclampsia, but I am so very happy! I will be praying that my little girl will be healthy.

    I don’t think I’m too old, and obviously, was blessed with this baby, so He didn’t think I was too old either.

  23. Deborah says

    I am 34 and seriously considering my second child. I had my first child at 17 and he is now a very healthy and handsome 17 year old young man. I feel that having siblings is very important, coming from a family of 5 (me being the youngest). My fears are obvious….will my son have a role in the new baby’s life? Do i need to concentrate on my 17 year old who is getting ready to go to college? Am i too old? HELP!

  24. ingodshands says

    I am 24 and 7 months pregnant. PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) has been in question. My boyfriend is 40 and we really were not expecting a pregnancy but are very excited that god has given us this gift. Even though it is not the perfect situation (we are unmarried) god has a plan! So in the end if god gives you a child at whatever the age, it is for a reason and should be celebrated. Certainly my boyfriend @ 40, with a daughter @ 15, never thought he would have the son that is on the way!! 😀 Whether you like it or not, gods in control and everything is in his hands.

  25. danielle says

    I have a 17 year old and a 3 year old. The 3 year old was planned and I was 39 and a month away from 40 when i had her. I actually went online to see when was the perfect time to have her because I have always been so regular with my periods. Drove through a hurricane,literally to meet my boyfriend just to get pregnant and did. my ob/gyn has always said i was one of his healthiest patients! he delivered both my daughters. I was 26 when i had my first and turning 40 with my second! Think I might be pregnant again at 43 and am thrilled! never had fertility problems.

  26. says

    I am 42 and desiring to have a baby. I believe in modern medicine to an extent, medicine and technology changes like the wind but a womans meternal instincts doesnt. Half the tims doctors keep comming up with some new treatments that dont work. A womans body is unpredictable and controlled by that woman. I dont know who you believe in wither it is GOD, BUDDHA, MOHAMMED, CHRIST, etc. but if you want to get pregnant after 40 thier is nothing stopping you. Their are so many women i know that are older than 40 that look younger than a 25 year old and are as healthy as they look. No longer is 40 old, we are to brain washed with what other people want to tell us because we are not educated or observant enough about our own bodies. You make the choice, you make the changes necessary to prepare yourself for being pregnant. It all starts in your mind and heart what you want and if God or the universe thinks its right for you then it will happen. For those who are negative about women getting pregnant after 40 well i feel sorry for you. Its no different than a family member being ill and needing hope to get better. Yee have little faith, and negative lifestyle will produce nothing great!!!!!!!! I will get pregnant when it is right for me and i will be a happy beautiful mother wither single or with a significant other.

  27. Cj says

    Thank you all for your comments I’m 38 and tryIng to have me first child I feel that Im in a great relationship I have a great career and more settle as much as wiser to take on responsibility and can enjoy beIng a mom very excited can’t wait ..

  28. Sicilia says

    This is absolutely disgusting! I’m sorry, but if you can’t have a baby naturally, that is nature telling you that it’s not in the cards for you! It’s as simple as that. No one has the right to a baby, a baby is a gift, genes that get passed on based on natural selection. I’m sorry but if you can’t get pregnant, that means your genes are not meant to be passed on! Just accept it and adopt if you really want a child, instead of creating these frankenbabies in laboratories and stripping dignity and realism from conception. It’s just absolutely disgusting, some people are not meant to have babies for a reason, it’s called natural selection. The genetically inferior get weeded out, sorry it’s harsh, but that’s nature. We are not the masters of creation and we need to stop playing god. As for women having babies in their late 30s and 40s, that is equally gross. Technically you’re old enough to be a grandmother at 40, with a 20 year old who has a baby. Our prime childbearing years are inarguably in our 20s, and once you’re past 40 the rate of down’s syndrome in your baby skyrockets! If that’s not nature telling you it’s not meant to happen I don’t know what is. You missed your chance. If you’re old enough to retire when your child is graduating high school, or breastfeeding a newborn with a head full or gray hair, something is seriously wrong. GrossGrosGr

  29. Sicilia says

    This is absolutely disgusting! I’m sorry, but if you can’t have a baby naturally, that is nature telling you that it’s not in the cards for you! It’s as simple as that. No one has the right to a baby, a baby is a gift, genes that get passed on based on natural selection. I’m sorry but if you can’t get pregnant, that means your genes are not meant to be passed on! Just accept it and adopt if you really want a child, instead of creating these frankenbabies in laboratories and stripping dignity and realism from conception. It’s just absolutely disgusting, some people are not meant to have babies for a reason, it’s called natural selection. The genetically inferior get weeded out, sorry it’s harsh, but that’s nature. We are not the masters of creation and we need to stop playing god. As for women having babies in their late 30s and 40s, that is equally gross. Technically you’re old enough to be a grandmother at 40, with a 20 year old who has a baby. Our prime childbearing years are inarguably in our 20s, and once you’re past 40 the rate of down’s syndrome in your baby skyrockets! If that’s not nature telling you it’s not meant to happen I don’t know what is. You missed your chance. If you’re old enough to retire when your child is graduating high school, or breastfeeding a newborn with a head full or gray hair, something is seriously wrong.

  30. candice says

    It is really sad to see someone so ignorant about genetics. Women in their 20s have babies with genetic issues. I work in a neonatal intensive care unit and I can tell you that there all lots of babies born with problems even to young mothers. What do you mean by genetically inferior? Do you honestly think you are more important than someone who has Downs syndrome? God gives children as a gift and if he choses to give one a child with down syndrome , that child is still a gift. I hope you wake up Sicilia before you have children and pass on your ignorance and lack of compassion. I guess you are lucky ignorant people arent weeded out!

  31. RubyKate says

    Sicilia….maybe your parents should have thought twice about procreating. Look at the nasty person you are. You should be worried about your own genes being passed on and stop worrying about others.

  32. onlyone says

    Hi I am no body to judge if someone wants to have a baby at older age. My problem is the lack of real information. The truth is after the age of 40 the mayority (of course there is always exceptions but very small)of woman have problems to get pregnant and if they do the % of miscarriage is very high and after the age of 43 are donnor eggs. So the point here is not only if you want to start late in life your family is the wrong information we are getting when we see older woman having babies and thinking it was natural with their own eggs. So if it is ok for you to know that as older you get you might not have the probability to have your own genetic baby then go for it. I am 45 and got pregnant natural 5 times between 42 and 43 when finally i went to the doctor they told me donor eggs!!! I thought IVF will do everything but not. We decide is not for us. I do have a son 19 years old. Good luck and if you can don’t wait. If you wait think about what i said

  33. says

    I think it’s pretty misleading for a doctor to come on this show and start saying 40 is too old to conceive. There are just as many kids born with birth defects to younger mothers. The risk only goes up about one percent and statistics are only based on the group that;’s studied. There is something called menopause and that’s when our bodies are designed to quit reproducing. The over 35 standard is nothing more than backlash against the women’s movement. If you research it it really has no medical basis. It’s something that puts women in a rush to get married, settle for anyone, and then get divorced. If you can’t conceive, maybe you should be screened for more serious medical conditions. My friend had her first at 42 with no intention of having kids. She had a healthy pregnancy and the child is perfectly healthy too. She also refused all the genetic testing, because they do not believe in abortion. My neighbor had her first at 41. Both of these women were scheduled to be induced if they went past their due dates due to AMA. I would not allow a doctor to do that to me because doctors are not God. We cause more problems going against nature just like putting hormones in the food. My friend’s aunt got married at 40 and had three kids. There were no fertility treatments then. This is a money making business. My family had me in a panic saying my fertility was declining. I got an FSH test and my number is a six. I have excellent fertility at age 37 because I am healthy and exercise and eat right. That has more to do with it than anything else. The women who told me that did not say another word because I proved them wrong. Some of them are in unhappy marriages and bitter at me for not settling. How good is that for kids even if the parents are wrong. Doctors are paid to come on these shows and scare women. It’s sad that the more advances we make, the more backlash there is. Women make nasty comments to each other because they are jealous and should get a life. Anyone who goes around calling someone’s child a mongoloid does not deserve to be a parent. If you’re going to make insults, find someone your own size and don’t use a kid to make yourself feel important. You’re not special because you had kids at a young age. Those are more often the ones that are unplanned and the parents are eating up our tax dollars and driving up the deficit on public aid. It is noone’s business to tell someone else when and where to start a family. I guarantee that when I have my kids, those doctors will not be treating me any different because I’m paying them ,they’re not paying me. They will not be able to scare me because I know this is all nonsense. If I’m not married by age 40 then I am getting artificial insemination and I will show the women who criticize me how this is supposed to be done.

  34. RubyKate says

    Well said Kayla!!! I wish you a lot of luck when you feel the time is right to start your family 🙂

  35. Rosa says

    Sicilia…. how old are you? Do you have any children? I want to guess you don’t because if you did, you would know how precious a child is and how EVERY child who comes into this world is a miracle, disregarding the mother’s age. Good luck!

  36. kelly says

    Sicilia please stop talking. I had my daughter at 30 naturally and then at 41 found out I was pregnant with my son. Both were naturally conceived..daughter was planned son was a surprise. Going by you crazy rationale my genes were good because I did it naturally but I’m disgusting because if I allowed it I would have gray hair while breast feeding my child? Seriously I weep for humanity in that your kind are all to common. Also stop throwing around the word natural selection…as I don’t think you fully understand its meaning. Peace be with you.

  37. Bwaahaha says

    I think Sicilia and that Janine person who used the term “mongolism” should start their own social club.

  38. Priya says

    I am 57 yrs and my husband is 64. He got vasectomy done when he was 35 yrs old after we had 2 children. Is it possible for him to have re- canalisation and for me to conceive. We wish to have a baby-boy now.

  39. Kristina says

    I am 43, 5 months pregnant, and will be 44 when the baby is due. I believe that conventional wisdom for women over 40 and pregnancy is rapidly changing as women’s health has exponentially improved over the last several decades. And, looking backwards, I find several of my ancestors that had babies in their 40’s, so pregnancy over 40 is hardly a new concept. I conceived naturally, unexpectedly, and with a past history of endometriosis and infertility that required surgery at 34 for me to conceive. I gave up any hope of future pregnancy at age 40, based on what I have heard from the medical establishment regarding reduced fertility after 40..hmmm…And, I am not the oldest OB patient at my practice. A 48 year old has me beat. The attitude of my OB and midwives for “advanced advanced” maternal age is if it’s all progressing along well, no need to intervene. I have only opted for a Level II ultrasound (no other testing, such as AFP, which results in a lot of false positives).

    I hear the experts on the 5% rate of conception at 40, and I think for 43, it’s 1%. However, with the number of women pregnant over 40 I am beginning to question these stats.

  40. Sara says

    I am 34 years old and have been trying to have a baby since I was 31. I knew that it was harder for women older than 35 to have a baby, so I made a very concerted effort to start our family right after we got married (when I was 31). But life can be ironic sometimes and the best laid plans…..One week after my 32 birthday I found out I had premature ovarian failure (i.e. early menopause). I didn’t even realize that was a possibility – doesn’t run in my family. Turns out it was probably caused by a medication I took as a teenager. Since being diagnosed we’ve had 5 failed IVFs, one failed adoption, and many, many other failed treatment cycles. I am a good person and would make a great mom. And my husband will be an amazing father. So we’re just going to keep trying (via adoption, more IF treatments, maybe even DE) until it happens. Sicilia, you couldn’t be more wrong, you really couldn’t. Whether or not you are ABLE to have a baby has absolutely nothing to do with being “meant” to have a baby or called to by God, etc. If that were the case, why in the world are there so many neglected and abused children? Life is unfair, random, but also beautiful. It is also what you make it. Our child, when he or she gets here and HOWEVER, he or she gets here, will be so so loved.

  41. Hayley says

    Well, it seems I am obviously a pretty disgusting person for wanting to extend my family at the age of 39 (soon to be 40). I had my son at the age of 37 and the pregnancy was perfect, I enjoyed every minute of it. We then started trying for baby #2 and in January I miscarried. Never has anything in my life made me so sad. Its now been 18 months since we started trying and we still havent had the news we have been waiting for but your messages have given me a lot of hope that actually it may not be down to my age at all. So many of you have been blessed at the age of 40 or more, which is a real positive. Maybe its the wanting it so badly that is delaying it, but I would just like to say Sicilia that even at my very old age of 39 I am very capable indeed of providing a loving caring home the likes of which some children in this world never see. If you have not yet had children I hope you never have to experience the loss of a child or anyone calling you ‘disgusting’ for wanting a family so badly. I would however be disappointed and ashamed if any child of mine grew into adulthood with a disgraceful attitude like yours.

  42. Lilliana says

    Wow! Really Sicilia? Clearly you are bitter old lady who never had children. I work with someone just like you! Nasty to the world because of never experiencing mother hood. I feel sorry for you and your kind. We were unable to conceive “naturally” with our daughter. I wanted a baby desperately and I was only 24. With doctor’s help, we conceived and had our gorgeous, intelligent, beautiful daughter. I happen to think the genes she received must be pretty good! Even if I wasn’t able to do it on my own. Ugh… you are a nasty lady. Now, at age 31, we have surprisingly found ourselves pregnant. “Naturally” by your definition. So this baby was meant to be and my beautiful 6 year old wasn’t? Get over yourself! it’s people like you that bring this world down. The drug addicts that get pregnant at the drop of a hat and through their babies in dumpsters have genes that should be passed on and I don’t? Wow… I have to stop now. Clearly your stupidity is beyond my comprehension!!!

  43. Lilliana says

    Oh… one more thing… thanks to the genes my parents passed on to me, naturally of course… I had gray hair at the age of 18! So chew on that!

  44. Kristina says

    Ignore these medieval comments about “natural” pregnancy. Conception, pregnancy and childbirth are just the tip of the iceberg of parenting. The true tests come throughout your child’s life. My OB had another choice comment for me regarding age and pregnancy. She said that she would much prefer to take as a patient a healthy and fit OB patient in her with no underlying health conditions, rather than an obese OB patient that in her 20’s that smokes, drinks, doesn’t exercise, etc. My OB reports that she has a much easier time managing OB patients in their 40’s due to their life experience, maturity, and overall healthy lifestyle practices.

  45. Erin says

    I’ve read through all of these comments, and, wow, I am amazed. Amazed at how accepting and encouraging some people are and utterly shocked at the ignorance of others. I am about to turn 37. My husband is 41. We are successful and happy as individuals as well as a couple and we didn’t think we wanted children, however we are beginning to reconsider the possibility. We haven’t fully made the decision and will probably leave up to the “powers that be”, but it’s comforting to know that even at my age, having a healthy and naturally conceived baby is possible and becoming more and more common. Thank you to all of the positive comments on this page. And to the few that have been negative, think before you “speak” and remember if you don’t have anything nice to say… ! 😉

  46. Anita says

    When I read Janine comment about Mongolism, I thought racist because it is a racist term and very offensive. As for the comments from Sicilia, you are a nasty, offensive, racist women. Really, natural selection, frankenbabies, genetically inferior get weeded out!!!!! Don’t forget about that some genes are not meant to be passed on!! What planet are you from? Do you completely think and speak in stupideze? What do you say about the genes and people getting pregnant without IVF or other treatments that are drug addicts, have been rapped, or murderers? Those genes get passed on and those are ok with you? I really hope you do not reproduce naturally and pass on those nasty views of yours. Just to let you know, I have kids ages 17 1/2, 15 1/2, 12, 4 1/2, 3 1/2, and 14 months. I am 37 years old and just found out that I was expecting another baby next year. My birth control I was on did not work completely, but I will accept this child and move on with my family and live our lives together. If you want to have a baby in your 30s or 40s, all power to you. That child will have all the love and support you can give them. I was not planning to have this many children, but I will never regret having any one of them. Bless them all and bless all of you trying to have a baby, no matter if you are in your 30s or 40s.

  47. Renata says

    I guess I should play the lottery! I am currently pregnant at 40. No drugs, no IVF , definately NO doner eggs. And based on this article I had a 5% chance of getting pregnant! I had an amnio done as soon as I could, and my little girl is 100 healthy. And for anyone who thinks that only older mothers can have kids with Downes or other chromosomal abnormalities – you need to look at the stats.

  48. says

    Thank you to all of the wonderful women that posted comments on here that had children in their late 30’s and beyond. I was actually beginning to cry when I read the article. I am 42 and am getting married next year. I have a son that is 20 but I’m hoping to have another child with my future husband. I waited a long time for someone like him. My son’s father was terrrible and I decided to put off dating etc. until I found the right man and I did. I couldve just met, married and had a child with anyone but I didn’t want to do that after the really bad relationship I had before. Thank you for giving me hope that we can have a baby and add to our family. You are all awesome and inspiring!!

  49. Kristina says

    I love this message board. I am turning 44 in December and am now 6.5 months pregnant. All is well 🙂 My baby boy is active as heck, kicking and punching like mad. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be giving birth at age 44, I would think them mad. “It’s not possible.” Apparently, not true. Heck, people think that I am in my 30’s, so I’ll take it. And, more pregnant women in their 40’s sounds good to me..I don’t want to be the only mom in my early 50’s with a kid in elementary school.

  50. Heather Leslie says

    Anyone to be blessed with a baby no matter what the circumstances, was meant to be blessed with a baby! I have read so many misconceptions about becoming pregnant on here. Healthy babies and miscarriages happen to women in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. I miscarried my first at 35 but went on to have 3 healthy babies naturally after that and I still want one more and I am 41! Every woman needs to discuss their bodies, their fertility and all of their options with their OB.

  51. Lynn says

    Renata, why the “and definitely NO donor eggs” comment? Do you have something against women using a donor egg to get pregnant?

  52. juanda says

    Hey Marisa, my sister lula had a baby at the ripe age of 45
    She was 46 when her daughter turned 6 months; by the way she has a 24, 21, and 16 year old as well. Dr. God is in control!

  53. Milica says

    Well, I think 40’s is too old to have a baby, unless you are prepared to carry, miscarry or have an abortion if your baby is discovered to have one of the many genetic conditions associated with an aged egg. I found out the hard way. I was 42 when I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with trisomy-21, better known as Down syndrome. It was heartbreaking! She is doing well and she is beautiful, but I live with guilt and regret every day, for not heeding warnings, real warnings about having a baby at this age. Abortion is not easy either, you have to live with yourself.
    Now I have brought on a being to this world that may face the world on her own at a young age, without her parents around. We only have one other child, 5 years senior. What did we do to our family?
    Statistics do not lie!!! Someone has to be the number. It’s a horribly hard fact to live with and cannot help but feel tremendous burden now; to both of our kids.

  54. Milica says

    Yes, I also thought “Why everyone is having babies in their 40’s”. Healthy babies too! 90%+ of folks who undergo amnio & have chromosomal abnormalities have a late term abortion in the US. Other countries are probably 100%.
    No one is telling you that on this site. It’s a side NO ONE TALKS about or warns women about. You must be prepared!

  55. Terri says

    I work with parents to get services for their infants and toddlers. I have seen more parents between the ages of 20-30 with children that have down syndrome and chromosome disorders then older parents. Most of the older parents it may be a child with a mild speech delay. I am 39 and have discussed with my husband about having another child. We’ve already spoke to my doctor and he gave me the green light. I have several friends that are or has have children after 40. All of them agree that it’s better now because they are stable and they really understand and enjoy their children growing up. I believe each woman body is different and if you can conceive in any way possible it is worth it. Children are God’s greatest gift. For all the negative comments, I’m going to pray for you because that is plain hatred!!

  56. Chrissy says

    I just found this site after much research on pregnancy after 40. I have four adult children, three grandchildren and I just found out that I am pregnant at 42, soon to be 43. I am experiencing so many mixed emotions at the moment. I am also finding conflicting articles concerning the health risks of having a child at 43. This “group” and their stories and experiences with pregnancy over 40 has really started to enlighten me in such a positive way. It is becoming very clear to me that becoming pregnant at this age, is nothing short of a miracle and a wonderful act of God! I would not be being truthful if I didn’t say that I am feeling major apprehension, but I can’t help but feeling quite excited as well. Partially due to others sharing their positive experiences!!

  57. Eri says

    These posts are putting a BIG smile on my face that has been missing for a long time. I’m 41 soon to be 42 and there is nothing more that I would love than to have a healthy baby no donor eggs, no meds, just the good Lord blessing my husband and I. I had 3 miscarriages in my late 30’s, we tried IVF and it failed, my doc wants me to keep trying because he says that I’m totally healthy, but financially we can’t afford another round of IVF!!! Thanks for the encouraged and best wishes to you all regardless of your opinion or views on pregnancy over 40!! God Speed

  58. Beth says

    I had a “surprise” pregnancy at the age of 43, and my husband and I welcomed our beautiful, healthy baby daughter in to this world when I was 44 years old. Today she is 2 1/2 and the joy of our lives…we also have an 11 year old son, and 9 year old daughter. They both adore their baby sister. And although our little one was totally unplanned, and unexpected ..we know she is a true gift from God. The panic that I felt in the beginning when I found out I was pregnant at such an “advanced maternal age”, was replaced by a profound sense of joy and wonder as I felt each kick while she was in the womb, and watch each milestone she reaches now. I had a wonderful, full-term easy pregnancy. And I think I truly enjoyed being pregnant even a little more than I had with my first two…knowing this would almost certainly be our last child. At 46…I would jump for joy if I was given this gift again…

  59. Dee says

    I am 40 years old and just had twin boys 3 weeks ago. I conceived naturally and WAS NOT trying to get pregnant. I didn’t go to the Dr. until I was 20 weeks a long as I didn’t know I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy and delivered two healthy baby boys on January 3rd. Please ladies don’t read all the hateful and negative comments you find on the internet. The only regrets I have is not enjoying my pregnancy without the constant worry of my age, and birth defects a long with not having early pre natal care. The boys are a gift from god, I am certain of this. We were taking every precaution not to have children and talk about a surprise! Twins run in my family on my mother’s side, I am sure this is why I conceived twins naturally, not my age. Keep in mind, I didn’t know I was pregnant for awhile and had alcoholic drinks and was dieting! I am a rather small person but, had gained around 8 pounds over the summer and was trying to get the weight off. My sons are perfect and just beautiful. Good luck and never give up hope if having a child in your 40s is what you want. I know I have much more patience then I did with my oldest son at 24. Good luck and god bless.

  60. Chell says

    I just turned 40 years old, on the 19 of January and me and my husband have been trying to have a baby, after the fact of having a very bad miscarriage in ( 1999 ) I had. I almost died !
    I am a person of ( Great Faith In God ) ! And we haven’t had any luck yet. But I say all of that to say this: I went and got my self checked out and , I was told I was fine! So I , no it’s just not me or my husband time yet, to have our baby ! But I do no one thing ! The failure is not in God ! The failure is in (Me) and anyone else who, doesn’t put there trust in god! Things take time ! And it doesn’t matter how long, it takes for you to get your blessing , Or how old you are when you have your baby, just be thankful that the ( Lord Does Bless You At Whatever Age You Are)!

  61. says

    At any age it is a blessing from ( God ) to have a baby look in your bible for the ones of great faith ! Look at how old Hannah was when the ( Good Lord Blessed Her !)

  62. Darlene Acosta says

    I had my first at 19 and my second at 21! I am now 42 and happy to be a Mom of two Adult Children and still married to their Father after 23 years! I had a tubiligation after my second baby and have never regretted it! I made this decision mainly based on 7 months of morning sickness with both! We are not your typical statistic. I actually took very good care of myself during pregnancy and breast fed both babies till they were 18 months. I personally wouldn’t change anything and at 42 I feel way too tired then I did in my 20’s! I have a friend who had her first at 39 after spending years and money to conceive. Her husband who is well into his 40’s has been cheating on her for years! Age isn’t always an indicator of successful child rearing. In fact my Mom had her fourth child (my 1/2 sister) at 43! Guess who practically raised her? Me! However, I am not here to judge! My other friend is also 42 and trying for her first but is having no luck despite several IVF attempts, I am praying that God will bless her with a baby! As women we need to support each other.

  63. Dena says

    I had my first and second in my twenties. I conceived naturally at 42 (last year) but sadly miscarried at 6 weeks, been trying to conceive ever since (May 2012) but unfortunately after the miscarriage my periods were a bit all over the place, since October they seem to have gone back to normal and my FSH and LH according to my OB are great and also seem to ovulate (as per my last 21 day progesterone test) OB seems to think I have good odds and my lining is also good?? but so far nothing has happened.?? OB has suggested a mild stimulation using Clomiphene for at least 3 cycles before trying a more aggressive type of Assisted reproduction method like IVF etc..
    Hoping for a miracle 🙂

  64. Tracey says

    I naturally conceived at the age of 41, much to my surprise. I went through all the “advanced maternal age” and tests. My co-workers used to fill my ears with horror stories, “your baby will be born premature because of your age.” or “low birth weight.” I was terrified and all the test showed there were no problems. My daughter was born on her due date (40 weeks) and she weight 9’10”. My daughter is now 2 and guess what, I feel fine. I am not exhausted. In fact, I am thinner than 66% of our overweight country. I exercise, I enjoy life, I eat well. No junk food, sodas and processed foods. I do not have the mindset I am old, because technically, I am not old.

  65. Kim says

    The encouragement is nice, but as someone-I think Milica said-someone has to be the statistics. I am 41 and everyone was exstatic for us to be pregnant. I heard story after story about who was born when their mother was older than I am now. I didn’t FEEL old and didn’t have any predisposition to a problematic pregnancey other than my “advanced age” as my OB put it. We were aware and thoughtful about the risky things that you hear about and considered ourselves prepared to love our child no matter what. My OB said things like “it doesn’t take a tremendous amout of luck to have a healthy baby at your age.” It is reasuring to think that the statistics will always somehow be in your favor. But, you can never know if you will be “lucky.” Our baby has Trisomy 13. You cannot imagine the conversations you have to have with something like this. My baby is dying inside of me. Not to be disturbing but these are things I was blissfully ignorant of weeks ago. This weekend I will deliver a baby that will not be alive. That is not how I imagined my trip to Labor and Delivery to be. It is a wonderful blessing to be fortunate enough to avoid the statistical realites, but…someone is that number.

  66. Cafoom says

    This is so funny… some people are beyond belief. To the ignorant one who said the chances of Down Syndrome “skyrockets” in your 40’s I would suggest you check statistics and make sure you know what you’re saying before you spout off crap like that. It goes up by about 1%. And how can you say ‘natural selection’ if we got pregnant super easy at age 39 and have trouble conceiving after 41? Our genetics are only “sort of’ worth replicating? We have a perfect daughter – more intelligent than most, gorgeous and funny so your theory is not very solid. I had a perfect pregnancy at 39 and no problem getting pregnant. Yes, there are more risks but not so much that it should be avoided. In fact I think older parents are better parents because they have more life experience and are more open-minded in general than young ones…. and guess what? Children could care less how old you are.

  67. Dee Harper says

    Cafoom, I couldn’t agree with you more. Older parents are not only wiser most of us are financially solid and able to provide nicely for our children. We also no longer sweat the little stuff and are able to give the children a solid foundation and send them out to society to contribute not reap havoc. Sad to see the ignorance in the world and the people posting how disgusting it is to have a 40 year old parent, please save it. When I tell people my age they are shocked and ask over and over are you sure? I look 30 and have the figure of a 20 year old. It is a number, leave it at that! Kim you are in my prayers and god bless you and your family. Milica, you are too. I will say, I was worried the entire pregnancy based on statistics, I never had any of the Advanced age testing and felt god would make the decision for me. I know it must be hard for you and your family, but know god gives situations to the strong and if I had to guess you must be a very strong willed woman. Take care, and much love to all.

  68. ingodshands says

    The reality is anyone of any age can deliver a baby that has downs syndrome and or any mental/physical disability.

    This past November, my boyfriend and I became parents to a beautiful healthy baby boy. He is only three months so we won’t know if he has autism until he is older. My boyfriend is 41, I was worried about our pregnancy because of his age, he smokes and drinks, he paints cars and is exposed to horrible chemicals everyday and I just knew all of the abuse his body takes would show up as a disorder in our son. Statistics say men over 40 produce children with autism at a higher rate, so I’m keeping my eyes open for that. But for right now our son is wonderful, and we love him with all our heart.

    My boyfriend does say, “I’m old, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to run after him”. And I say, “get over it, you need to exercise anyway” lol… *wink* good luck ladies

    Oh and here’s a perfect success story for you 40 somethings. None other than my mom, had me here 1st at 36 tried for my brother for 6 years and finally at 42 had my brother!!! We are both healthy and my brother is definitely smarter than I am lol. He plays many different musical instruments, speaks fluent German, finished in the top of his class and now serves in the United States Navy. My mom left everything in gods hands, when the doctor suggested fertility treatments she declined. God gave her her babies when he thought she should have them 🙂

  69. Julien says

    My parents had their first child when my mother was 27 and my father was 30. They had their second child (myself) 12 years later (39 and 43). I have no problem with my parents being “older parents”. Your age is not defined by a number but by how you live your life. I actually believe that my parents are more mature and wise parents because of their age. Although my mother is 53 turning 54, and my father is 57 turning 58, they are both healthy individuals that love their daughter unconditionally. I am now 14 and never once have I been asked why my parents are so old, and never once have my parents been mistaken for my grandparents. I love them more than anything, and personally, I don’t think it matters how old you are. Just do whatever feels right! 🙂

  70. Liv says

    Sicilia, you’re an idiot and have your brain on backwards. Everything that is beautiful to a 30 or 40-something old (i.e. having kids) is apparently disgusting to you. I am 49 and have the most amazing kids. They are both beautiful, healthy AND gifted. I feel blessed beyond words. I had my second naturally and while it was extremely painful, it was worth every ounce of pain. Children are gifts from God and any good mother knows that it’s an extreme blessing of to be able to have children in the first place. My daughter is 10 and my son is 8. I lead a healthy lifestyle and am told I look a lot younger than my age. I haven’t been asked yet, if I’m their grandmother. Even if I do get asked some day, I will proudly say I’m their mother without any shame or regret as you think women “like me” should feel.

    Please get educated and consider being more empathic rather than stating your opinions to make yourself look like the biggest idiot alive. PLEASE spare society of having children some day. You will only do them an injustice with your lack of knowledge and horrible attitude. Yes, you have touched upon a subject where mothers “like me” will tear you apart.

  71. Juliet says

    I have a child with Down syndrome and he is the most amazing three year old. I feel lucky to be his mother. I wish that our culture embraced a pregnancy and birth of a child with Down syndrome. Everyone should be so lucky!

  72. says

    Sorry but no one older than 35 should be allowed to conceive. My mum was nearly 40 when i was born and dad nearly 45. One brother was 17, one 15 and one 9. All were too old to be young with me. I was expected to act grown up when only 7. My two older brothers still view me as the nuisance. So my message is having a child at 40 or over is cruel and selfish. Also that child will be burdened with elderly parents with dementia and that child will miss out on opportunities because of it

  73. Erika says

    I have two children ages 22 months which I had at 38, 10 month old which I had at 39, and now I’m 8 weeks pregnant at 40. I guess according to this article I must have hit the fertility lottery since I am so old! I believe that if you are physically, financially and emotionally ready to have a child at any adult age then go for it. I’d rather a child have older parents that can provide for that child than have younger parents that cannot give that child the emotional and financial support he or she needs. Age does not make a better parent.

  74. Kitty says

    For me the choice was simple, I am a woman with many opportunities. I wanted to number 1) never rely on a man for money 2) get set up finacially and have a rewarding career 3) never let anyone or society make decisions for me 4) find a caring and suitable partner to share a life with and build a family unit. I am 37 now and don’t have kids yet, I have now found a loving partner that I want to spend my life with after having various long term relationships. I am finacially secure and can take as much time off as I want when we have kids. I am educated, I have travelled the world and I have a great life. We both want kids but if it doesn’t happen for us then we will still have a beautiful life. I say go for it ladies…at the end of the day as long as your body is having a cycle you are able to have babies. Don’t let the ignorant people tell you it’s not possible. I know the chances are less as you get older but I am willing to take that risk. As for Sicilia your are one ignorant fool, open your eyes and your mind….how dare you make such derog

  75. lee says

    my husband and I tried having kids since our early 30s and we were finally successful with IVF when I was 40. Our son is now three and he is perfect! My own eggs were use and although we were aware of the genetic issues due to my maternal age, he was not born with Down’s or any other issues! I feel as an older mom I have alot more to offer my son, I am more patient now then when I was in my 20s or 30s, I am more financially secure and more mature. I think things happen for a reason. After so many years of trying to have a baby, I was meant to be a mom in my 40s. I think Dr. Lahl’s comment about women should forget about having kids in their 40s because they ‘missed the boat’ was very harsh and very hurtful. I don’t think anyone has the right to tell a woman when she should and shouldn’t have children. If you educate yourself and you obviously know the risks, and you are willing .. go for it and you’ll never regret it!! someone once told me ‘you’ll never regret having a baby, but you might regret not having one’

  76. gigi says

    My husband and I were waiting to adopt when I had a surprise pregnancy at 42 after 6 years of not being able to get pregnant. My son is now a year old and I had no issues with my pregnancy. I think that the key to getting pregnant at any age is to not put pressure on yourself which is hard to do when you hear the clock loudly ticking. My advice is if you know you want kids, don’t wait, it may take time. I have wondered if 40 is too old to have a baby myself but somehow I don’t think I nor my child will ever regret him being born.

  77. KLM says

    Just to give some of you a little hope, I met my dream man at 35 and had our little girl at 38; we conceived the first month we were married and I had never been pregnant before or even tried. I know this is a huge blessing and fertility can be a problem in your late 30’s and 40’s, but a happy, healthy pregnancy and your life coming together naturally can also be a reality. I hope it is for you. I know with all of my heart that this relationship, this child and this timing was meant to be.

  78. Kristina says

    i’ve posted here before,but I wanted to provide an update with more food for thought regarding pregnancy after the age of 40. I gave birth to my baby boy on 2/22/13 at the age of 44. I was induced at 38 weeks due to fetal decelerated heart rate and a dip in amniotic fluid detected on ultrasound, however, my placenta was extremely healthy at delivery, so go figure. A week after birth, my son was confirmed as having Downs Syndrome/Trisomy 21 via chromosomal testing. I declined all first trimester genetic testing, and only had a Level II ultrasound. No markers for Downs were detecting during the Level II ultrasound. Had I known that my son had Downs prior to birth, I would not have chosen an abortion, and I understand the stats are roughly 90% of Downs babies are aborted when detected from prenatal testing. I am pro-choice, but I just do not understand the rash decision to abort for a Downs finding. My son is a pure joy, and my pregnancy at 43/44 was an unexpected pleasure. However, the possibility of Downs was always in the back of my mind due to my age.

    My son has received excellent medical care from his providers, including pediatrician, pediatric cardiologist, and so far, all of his tests have come back normal. My son has already been referred to a state sponsored non-profit agency to receive his federally mandated early intervention services, including physical therapy, occupational therapy. After the age of 3, my son will transition to my local school system to receive preschool special ed services and then will be mainstreamed into the local elementary school for kindergarten. Some friends and family have responded to my son’s condition as a tragedy, and I just don’t get it. I feel blessed and my son is a pure pleasure. Perhaps my advanced age is providing me with the ability to navigate through his diagnosis without an overriding sense of tragedy.

    My input is that if anyone receives a confirmation of Downs in pre-natal testing, I wouldn’t rush to consider termination. There is another side to this story, and many families that view their Downs kids as a blessing. I would urge any parent to investigate this other side that oftentimes the medical community does not acknowledge.

  79. Renee says

    1st comment to Sheila about how a younger sibling will just be a nuisance to the other older children. I had my daughter at 19, and my two boys at 31 and 33. They are so close it’s amazing. They have a very wonderful relationship. My daughter is now 22, my boys 9 and 10. They will always have a strong bond, and they do play together! Now the kicker; I am pregnant at age 42. I am in shock. It will be a 23 year difference between oldest and youngest! I am reading these articles because I need to know what I am facing. Dad will be 48 when baby is born. I believe this somehow a gift from God because his only son was shot and killed 11 months ago at age 27. It’s a very confusing and scary time but also exciting and humbling. Going to pray a lot I think, and keep the faith that all will be okay, whatever “okay” is!

  80. Sarrah says

    Well, this thread has gone on for several months, but I too read it to the end.

    I am almost 35, not married (deciding whether or not to seriously date a man in his 50’s who already has three children and a vasectomy), but feeling really stressed by this “clock”. Truthfully, I most likely have endometriosis (identified by all of my menstrual issues, but not confirmed) and I was encouraged to have my first child by 25. My NP said that after you’ve had one it increases your chances for a second?? I cannot validate this, but it does make me wonder at the above posts where women had children when they were younger (teens/20’s) and then were able to conceive again at 40+.
    However, I have received solace from those of you women who met “your perfect man” a little later than us ladies are told we are “supposed to” and then had children. I’m still undecided if I even want to have children, but I want the option. Is that so wrong? I have always been a late bloomer–went to college after traveling/living around the world–knowing then what I was interested in and then with my first professional career, I made money, but it was not fulfilling, I left for grad school and will be working in disaster relief, starting a second career in my mid-thirties . . Choices. None of us know if we’ve made the right decisions, but one thing that I sense here is that most (save the obvious offenders) are kind and supportive. I do wish the best to you my sisters and for those of you trying to conceive–the best of luck to you! Few have expressed that it’s in the hands of someone or something greater than ourselves, and I believe we have to trust that, but in the interim–thank you for the support ladies!

  81. Donna says

    Yes, Sarrah, I had my first child at age 25 and the second one at age 29 and the last at age 45. The first and the last were not planned. I am now 56 with a 30 year old, 26 year old and a 10 year old. It is possible. Same husband.

  82. says

    Lilianna, hahaha, you go girlfriend!!! Way to say it like it is. I am sick and tired of uneducated, over opinionated idiots posting their negative thoughts when they have NOTHING to do with reality!!!! I went through fertility treatments after10 years of infertility. I am fourty years and had a full term healthy little boy. It was God’s plan so the naysayers and negative posters need to look at themselves and re-evaluate if they are doing anything good for society. If not, then maybe get a life and do something that isn’t going to hurt others. Your posts just show that your arrogance and ignorance rule your life. And just maybe you will find yourselve infertile when you least expected it and will have to eat your own words.

  83. says

    I’m 45. They said I’d never have kids. I have a 5 y/o son (ivf) & 2 y/o daughter (natural). I just fell again accidentally & miscarried yesterday. I’m healthy, fit, don’t smoke, don’t drink. I have a stable secure home, relationship & work part time. I chase my kids through the tubes at McDonalds. My friend died at 45 leaving a 6 year old. My sister in law died in a car crash at 33, leaving 2 small children. My gran died at 101 & my mum at 70. Life is harsh & unpredictable. Live it well. Love your children, be dedicated to them no matter your age & your legacy will stay with them, whether a long time or into old age. Better to have been loved, than live forever without it.

  84. Suzie says

    I’m 40 I have 8 children ranging from 19 to 3 1/2 yrs old, 4 boys & 4girls I would love to have another one I think you can’t put an age limit on having children, all I know is that they make me feel young & alive & are always full of love & surprises.

  85. Kat5000 says

    I do not believe in judging who should or should not have children. There are no perfect parents and what matters most is how they treat their child. If Dr. Oz or anyone believes it is wrong for an older person to have a baby then it must definitely be wrong (for different reasons) for people with drug or alcohol problems, mental health disorders, abusive personalities, criminal records…it could also be wrong for teens, gays, people who are very poor, unmarried, in bad relationships, have serious health problems, hereditory conditions… The list of people who should not be parents could go on and on and almost anyone, including Dr. Oz, would probably be somewhere on it.

  86. jake says

    its remarkable how many people feel the need to just tell you how offended they are. get over it and move on.

  87. Tarra says


    I’m so sorry someone stole the sugar out of your candy!! You have just as many rights to your own beliefs and feelings as do the rest of us here… Why don’t you just try having a little tact when you share like the rest of us also! Blessings!!!

  88. Sheri says

    wow. just wow at some of the comments. having a child is something very personal, however the couple decides to do it. life is very precious and should be treated as such. I was extremely lucky and had my first at 40, I tried for a second and lost that child. I am approaching 42 and trying to decide on another. I think part of what is missed here is the amount of work a newborn is. I have always been very active and had an extreme amount of energy, but now after the first I am so tired, all of the time. This isn’t from anything medical, just very tired. We are thinking of adopting a child when our son is a bit older.

  89. Jeannie says

    Sheri, have the 2nd baby. You”llbI had both of mine naturally at 43 and 45. They are perfect and we are so lucky. My husband and
    The only drawback is that most of my kids friends Moms are

  90. Swimming in Warm Jello says

    Everything’s offensive, to everyone, all the time. To proclaim how offended you are, or more to the point, that you have a non-existent backbone, smacks of narcissism. You couldn’t pay me to be a 40-something, obese, weed-whacked hair, crafting mother of 5 with a milquetoast husband. Why don’t you open you eyes and get away from your soap operas and “get offended” at the assholes who are raping the world your little darlings will have to grow up in? I can feel my IQ points dropping just being in this forum.

  91. says

    @Sarrah: endometriosis is not a barrier to conception. I was infertile at the age of 34 (shocked to find this out) due to previously undiagnosed endo. Although all of the symptoms were right in front of me for years, and I had a family history of it. I had it removed surgically at the age of 34 (day surgery, laparoscopy) and conceived 2 weeks after surgery. I gave birth at the age 35. I got pregnant at 36, but miscarried due to a molar pregnancy (an awful situation). Endo grew back over the years, but got pregnant at age 43. Mistakenly thought that my endo rendered me infertile again.. Nope. My OB told me that she had another endo patient with previous pregnancy in her thirties that got pregnant at 45 with twins, and this woman is a cardiologist. OB said that she was amazed at how many women in their 40’s just stop using birth control (like I did), mistakenly believe themselves to be completely infertile, and then wind up getting pregnant expectedly. It ain’t over, till it’s over 🙂

  92. says

    Just a general comment. Only with pregnancy are women at the age of 40 considered to be “old.” Come on. With life expectancy climbing, 40 might not even be half-way through. Women are redefining the 40’s decade; it’s hardly a bastion of increasingly debilitating middle age. I am caring for a 6-month old at the age 44, working full-time and then some, and also have 2 other kids. I am somewhat tired, not surprisingly, but don’t feel that I am any more or less tired the last time that I cared for an infant at 35. Women are too fixated on the age of 40, or even 35 for that matter. Ladies on the board here that feel that 40 is “old” for mothering, come back and comment when you turn 40 and tell me how “old” you feel. LOL.

  93. Dee says

    In the first place We live in a world where we can make OUR OWN CHOICES. It’s funny in the 60’s it was get a job don’t have babies, Now, it’s hurry up or your eggs will spoil. Really, I wish society would get it right for women for once. In the first place ladies don’t let society or doctors tell you when to have a baby, because the fact remains no one knows our bodies but us. SOME doctors have good intentions and most have just spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for an educated guess only to find a higher power says YES!!! In conclusion don’t listen to doctors, family, or well intentioned friends just be your own guide only you know when it is time to have a child and what to do about your health. As for society you could tell the general public to kiss it. HAVE A BABY WHEN YOU WANT… BE EDUCATED AND MAKE A SOUND DECISION. WE DON’T NEED SOCIETY TELLING US WHAT TO DO.

  94. Erica says

    @Dee….you hit it right on the head! I am a mom of two boys ages 29 months and 16 months and 34 weeks pregnant with baby #3 and guess what….I’m 40 years old! My obgyn treats me and not my age. All my pregnancies were conceived naturally and I was even breastfeeding when I became pregnant with baby #2 and #3. Each woman is different and for some it is easy to conceive when they are in their 40s and for others it is not. It just depends on your body.

  95. says

    I think that it’s a little stressful to put you body through a pregnant at 40, I think if you really wanted more children you should just adopt because there are millions of kids who would love to even have a family, its just kinda selfish putting your body through all those treatments just to have a child. I don’t plan on having kids but if I do I want to at least have them in my late 20’s or early 30’s like my mom, who had me at 30 personaly.

  96. Minnie says

    No one should tell a woman what’s right for her.
    I prsonally do not think many of you have
    Experienced an abortion at 18 wks due to a
    Diagnosis of a Down syndrome fetus or are living
    With a newborn or an ill Ds baby/child.
    These are some serious consequences a woman
    Of AMA needs to face.
    So continue to debate and self glorify yourselves
    On this topic. It is extremely difficult to have
    A baby in the 40’s, personal experience.

  97. says

    @Minnie: I do know. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. It is tragic. I gave birth at the age of 44 to a son with Trisomy 21/Down Syndrome. I got pregnant out of nowhere, and believed myself to be infertile. I did not receive a prenatal Dx of Down Syndrome. My pregnancy was completely uneventful, and since giving birth, I have returned to my pre-pregnancy weight, minus 5 pounds. My health is good. I agree with you that pregnancy after 40 has to be considered based on the woman’s overall health picture. My OBs never made a bro-ha-ha over my “advanced advanced maternal age” designation. I believe that this is now the norm with informed OBs.

    I realize that my 7-month old son is lucky. He has no major health issues other than a lazy eye, and minor atrial and ventricular septal defects in his heart (which will not require surgery based on cardiologist’s current opinion). He will also require glasses at an early age.These are very common conditions for DS kids. He actually has required less medical intervention than my non-DS daughter, who had asthma as an infant/toddler.

    I feel strongly about my next point, so I do soap box this. Medical science does not yet understand the true significance of a third 21st chromosome. While there are developmental delays and some degree of cognitive impairment for kids with DS; universal Early Intervention, mainstreaming DS kids into public education, and advancements in medical treatments have significantly impacted overall quality of life and life expectancy for people with DS in just the last 10 years. Kids with DS can now read at grade level, participate in sports, and do go on to college and lead meaningful and rich lives. I have never met a family that has a child with DS that does not express that their DS kid is a unique gift.

    Giving birth to a child with DS makes one a part of a very special community, that is full of support, joy, and honestly, wonder. The experience of this child has brought significant personal insight and growth to me as an individual.

    I understand that there are DS infants that do have significant health issues. However, there are supports in place, and most health issues can now be addressed.

    I really feel strongly that any woman who receives a prenatal Dx of Down Syndrome should not automatically rush to abortion as an option. My ideas about DS before my son was born I have found are very outdated and incorrect. Talk with parents of DS kids in addition to talking with medical professionals.

    My son is developing differently than non-DS kids, however, his occupational therapist, and his day care providers report that he is accelerating in areas that non-DS are lagging behind in, such as social interaction, and hand-based fine motor skills.

    It’s also a joy to have a baby that just non-stop smiles at you, and at everyone. I just want to let whomever know that is reading this that I find my DS infant to be an absolute joy.

  98. H says

    Had my first (and likely only ) son while on the pill at age 34. I had been on the oil for 16 years straight. Some people are simply
    Destined to have kids

  99. Gina says

    I also struggle with this question. I have been trying to conceive for 16 years now with 6 miscarriages. I’m 34 now and everyone is telling me I’m too old to keep trying. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life and I just can’t give up. I know that the risks are higher but either way I would love that baby with all of my heart. I’m already on Metformin because I have PCOS, but my doctor is planning to put me on Clomid as well. I finally decided that I was to old to have children a year ago but then my 33 year old sister in law just had twins so I figure if she can do it, then so can I. Maybe I’m not meant to have kids, but I’m also not a quitter. I pray for all of you who are trying and congrats to all with healthy babies.

  100. Cristina says

    Well, I believe it depends on the person and couple. Also, woman who have had difficulties trying to conceive should not be negative towards other woman who are perfectly healthy and able to easily conceive. How do they know that that woman is too old to have a child? My grandmother had a child at the age of 44 back in the 60s without issues and they did not have the medical advancements we now have. So once again it depends on the individuals involved and not a magical number.
    I had twins 7 years ago and after we had them, no issues conceiving (got pregnant within a month of stopping the pill) and carried full term, we decided to not have anymore children. However, after getting remarried to a man with no children of his own and seeing how great he is with “our” boys and how much he wanted another I decided why not. My doctor told me he did not find my age, 37, to be a factor and has been encouraging me to have another for 7 years already. We decided to stop taking the pill and within 1.5 months I got pregnant. So far, I have had no issues with this pregnancy and everything is going perfectly fine, thank goodness. I believe older woman who have and experience difficulties would have encountered a degree of difficulties prior if they would have tried earlier.

    Gina, good luck! You shouldn’t quit if you do not feel as if you are ready to give up just yet.

  101. Stephanie says

    I am so insulted by this article! If your body allows you to get pregnant, then you should carry that baby and make the most of it. I am trying to get pregnant at 43, and I am furious that there are “dr’s” out there that spew out “facts” that don’t make any sense and do not apply to the majority. My grandmother had my dad when she was 47, and he is
    amazing. Shame on you for spreading this negativity, SHAME ON YOU!

  102. lallycarcamo says

    Hi dr oz my name is Lally am 40 an i hv a 24 yr old son an i hv been trying ford last 20 yrs to hv get pregnant for my husband bt no luck wat
    should i do

  103. Maria says

    I am 49 and have been wanting to get pregnant since I was 22. No luck yet although I’ve tried for years with a boyfriend first and then with my husband. I was pregnant with my husband at least 7 times but lost each one within 1-2 months. My doctor suspected possible ectopic for 3 of those and those 3 were terminated with a radiation shot because they thought I might die or lose the ability to ever have natural conception. However, the results of a hysterosalpingogram using blue dye showed no sign of scarring in my tubes which would be indicative of ectopic pregnancies. I never went to a fertility specialist until now at a Naturopathic clinic with my current partner who is my age. I was surprised at how encouraging and optimistic they are and my age doesn’t seem to matter to them at all. It’s great to have some encouragement at my age. I love children and so want to have one of my own. Thank you to everyone who has left encouraging, supportive, and caring messages on this website. It means so much to me! May God heap many blessings on you as you so richly deserve. And may Christ’s love and promise make the Grinch-like hearts of those who left disparaging comments grow back to their normal size. Might want to try a larger shoe size?

  104. Heller says

    I am Heller from Hawaii my husband and i have been looking for a child after our marriage for 3years and we have done several things but to no avail, but husband and i did not relent, we continue to find result until we met this spell caster online and we explained our situation to him and he told us that he will cast a fertility spell for me and my husband and he told us what is required of it. so we gave the spell caster our information and he told us to wait for two days before we begin to see result. me and my husband made love again, and after two weeks i went to the hospital and i was confirm positive. so i am very happy and that at last i can now have my own baby. in case you need his help, meet him on… [email protected]

  105. Kera says


    I thought it was funny that you said people need to stop playing God and have babies naturally instead of having “Frankenbabies”, then turn right around and say it is wrong to have a baby in your 40’s. What if the woman doesn’t get pregnant naturally in their 40’s? Technically, that was God’s decision…So you are saying God is wrong when he allows a woman to get pregnant in her 40’s? Or are you playing God by saying what age is right to have children. Your post was very ignorant and judgmental and just thought that maybe you need to check yourself.

  106. Sarah Mary says

    To Sicilia and others on here who share ignorant or ill-informed beliefs:
    How dare you come on here hiding behind your computer, shouting and ranting against young women in their 30’s and 40’s who want to have children. I will not answer your silly knowledge declarations about the right age to have a baby as you are too silly to talk to there. I will however say to you that you are the one who is disgusting. You are the one being disgusting towards your fellow human beings shouting crass odds at them. Go and read up on your subject before talking such utter drivel. I usually do not post on the web but your silly and offensive nonsence pushed me. It must be easy to sit behind a computer and shout like that. If we were all in a support group talking in a room I doubt very much you would be so er, “knowledgeable”. Grow up. Seriously.

  107. emily says

    I just turned 37. I had my son at 34 years old. I had preeclampsia and it was pretty scary. My husband and I both work full time in our family seems pretty complete. Right now I am really questioning whether or not I should have another baby. I want my son Landon to have a sibling but I’m just not sure I can handle it emotionally physically or even spiritually. Its tough at my age because you really have to start deciding what you’re going to do. Its a huge decision and I’m totally 50 50 right now.I know that my parents would love to have another grandchild but I know that I can’t have another baby just for that reason.

  108. Sharon Avis says

    It’s definitely not too late to have a baby when you are in your forties. I had my first child when I was 26 and my second when I was 28, I thought that was it on the baby front as I was then in a long term relationship with someone who had a vasectomy years before I met him. We split up after 8 years together and a few years ago I met my wonderful partner, I was then 40 and he was 43. After 3 months I naturally fell pregnant with our daughter and she was born at home with no complications or anything during pregnancy when I was 41. I thought she would be my last baby but six months later and still breastfeeding I became pregnant again and gave birth to our son when I was 43. We feel totally blessed and if it’s meant to be and you are healthy then there is no reason why you can’t. Being an older mum is amazing.

  109. Tracy says

    I met the man of my dreams about 3 months ago. I’m 44 and have two children – 21 and 15. He is 40 and never been married and has no kids. When we met, he said he didn’t think he wanted kids….that at 40 he felt like if he were going to have them, it would have happened by now.

    Yesterday he told me that he had changed his mind and he wanted to be a dad. To get married and have a family. I was devastated. I had a tubal ligation and thought I’d never even contemplate children again.

    But…here I sit, knowing what an amazing father he would make and knowing that I did seriously consider a reversal with my ex husband – who I was married to for 10 years and never had a child with – which ended up being a good decision.

    I’m conflicted because I’d do anything in the world for him, and I know what a wonderful family we would have. But, I also know how much easier of a journey he would have with a woman in her 30s and how difficult it would more than likely be if we tried.

    I’m not worried about being an older mom…just the risks and the potential heartache of miscarriages and of bot being able to naturally conceive.

    For now, we have called it quits. I love him too much to put him through that. Even though it’s killing me, and I would love to have his child. I know how very special that would be with him. But, I feel it would be a difficult journey and if we were going to do it, it would have to be ASAP, and we wouldn’t have time to be just the two of us and travel and be together before we were parents…and that scares me as well.

    I’d love to hear what any of you think about my situation.

  110. Ann says

    I am 46 yrs old. I have 2 beautiful kids (19 &13); I am divorced and met I believe my soul mate. He was married before but never had kids ( spouse didn’t want); we have been talking about having a kid of our own. I want to give him this precious gift and would do anything to do so. I believe I am healthy and my past 2 pregnanices there were no complications, no morning sickness just really big babies.
    We are going to go to the doctor and weigh our options than. I hope it can happen.

  111. Scientist mommy says

    I did not meet “Mr. Right…awesome Dad and Hubby” until I was 37. We had our first perfect girl at 38 and had our second when I was 42..naturally! Ironically with the second we got pregnant when we just relaxed and quit “timing” it all. With our second precious girl we got back early biochemistry results that indicated that there was a 1 in 3 chance that she had a serious birth defect. This was not genetic testing just biochem–blood results from me. We thought we should have her tested and the Dr. recommended such but my placenta was positioned wrong for early testing…later, I did not have enough amniotic fluid and it was risky …then later she was positioned wrong…in the mean time we went to a fabulous ultrasound specialist MD who did very sophisticated imaging and he said all looked fine. In the end ..all was and she is perfect…a bit headstrong…too smart for her own good but perfectly perfect. I had never seen anyone’s biochem results commented on that were as poor as mine and I wanted to reassure…as a biochemist myself that AGE is one of the mathematical components that goes into the probability risk factor for your child to have a genetic defect. All else could be fine but throw in your age and it skews the results of the computer program used to determine risk. So Moms out there that are fearful…please opt for ultradetailed ultrasound by a competent physician before more invasive testing and know that having a baby over 40 if you are active and positive is a blessing to you and your child as I know I am much more patient now, better educated with my doctorate and better financially able to help care for our family now ..and even feel younger having to keep up with them and also run my own business. We are trying one more time and I am 45. Nothing fancy this time just like before but this time, I bought an ovulation kit. I think all should be fine my cycles are spot on almost to the hour…still…even though I guess I am technically “old”. I have gray hair too under the hair dye and highlights somewhere….I’m not too worried about that. I do hope for a boy although I have the best hubby in the world for another girl. I wrote this to encourage other older Moms to not feel ashamed or feel that your expectations, joy, anticipation is any less worthy than someone younger. Close your ears to the naysayers…open your heart.. and do what is best for you and your family. Do advanced genetic testing if you are worried and have exhausted less invasive procedures (I was not even aware of the option to do advanced ultrasound with an OB MD specialist until I checked around) then make that choice on your own terms but know that there is always a risk to lose a child if you get the invasive testing done…find a hospital that has a low rate of “loss” from this ( yes they keep these stats). I am no one to judge anyone’s decision on what comes after testing but I do know that we certainly had what seemed to be “faith” blocks in our way that prevented us from doing the genetic screening until it was just a mute point. God bless to all who are trying and my heart cries fro those that want children so badly and cannot conceive.

  112. Joana says

    My friends is 90 years old his son die before him at the age of 70 so you never know how long you will lost in this world only God. My mother I law was 47 when she had her last child. Her son is becoming a doctor. I just have my baby at 37 she was a surprise I found out when I was six months never saw a dr. My baby was born healthy. She is a miracle baby after 18 years married.

  113. Aisa says

    I’m 48. My mom had me when she was 47. I’m the last of 8 kids. I’ve never felt my parents were too old. It has nothing to do with your age. Anyone can be a mother as long as you’re prepared. I love my mom. We had a close relationship. She passed away at 88 in 2009. I missed her very much.

  114. Anita says

    I turned 44 at the end of Feb. and want to have my third child. I have lost my three kids. The first kid I was 51/5 month preg. in 1996 and the second one 7 month in 2004 my third was thanks good a healthy boy now 9 years old (IVF) my next natural was 9 weeks miscarriage and than got pregnant surprise with my daughter she is 31/2 and want to have another child. my OB told me that I since I had two C-section it will be a lots of risk plus high blood pressure, diabetic, placenta previa. so I worry and still want to try. Any advice, please be kind. thanks

  115. Lisa says

    At 19 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, at 21 another beautiful girl, and at 30 yet another beautiful daughter. They are all so happy, healthy and lively. I was truly blessed. Then at 40 when I already had 3 perfect daughters and 4 grandchildren I was blessed again with a perfect baby boy. The older siblings just adore him as do his “older” nieces and nephews. Now at 50 I have no regrets. I have never used fertility drugs or donor eggs or anything. I have just been happy and try to stay healthy. My children have kept me young at heart and active. I went to my high school reunion to find I don’t look 50 years old at all when comparatively looking. There were several of us who are now 50 and we don’t look or act like Aunt Bea Taylor! My older children’s friends say they want to look like me and my friends at 50 and not like their mother’s do at 40. At my age I now have more money, more time and more patience than ever before and my children are always my top concern. Good genetics, maybe, my grandmother did live to be 104 and got around great. I think it’s more about good attitude, living life, and healthy lifestyles. Kudo’s to all who have children, no matter what your age or how you conceived or adopted, as long as you provide them true love.

  116. Erika says

    I’m 42 and 6 months pregnant. I had my last three children when I was 38, 39, and 40 years old. They were all conceived naturally and in fact I was breastfeeding when I got pregnant with this baby and my last two. You are too old to have a baby when your body hits menopause.

  117. Maria says

    I had to change doctors after my last miscarriage because of the “doom and gloom” that he presented to me during my pregnancies…it was so overwhelming and terrifying. I just couldn’t deal with him anymore. He had been my gyno since I was 19 so it was hard to think of starting over. I know that doctors have to present all of the risks, but I felt it was just too much and frankly unnecessary. I met the man of my dreams at 40 (we’re now engaged) and unfortunately, I’ve had 3 miscarriages. After my last pregnancy, I was so afraid to tell my doctor that I waited 2 weeks before making an appointment. Each time, he would reiterate to me that the odds of having a baby w/medical issues at my age was so high that it was almost irresponsible to continue to get pregnant. He recommended that I get my tubes tied. I was a wreck and I’m sure the stress contributed to the miscarriages (he said it didn’t) but anyway, I changed doctors and I have a very supportive doctor that has told me that getting pregnant at my age (I’m now 44–turning 45 next month) is not that rare and should be celebrated not condemned. I’m healthy, I have 2 small fibroids and no other medical issues. I work out and I’m at a very healthy weight. She mentioned that a lot of women have had healthy babies with much bigger fibroids than mine. Ultimately, it’s my choice (along with my fiancé’s )and if having a baby at my age is what I want and my body is receptive to it, I shouldn’t be concerned with what anyone thinks. My grandmother had my uncle when she was 49 and I come from a family of 8…I guess we’re pretty fertile! I have a 23 year old and for the first time in my life, I feel like I have the support from my spouse and that no matter what happens he’ll be in my corner. Thank you to all of the women that are so supportive on this site. This is what it should be about, women supporting each other and holding each other up! My fiancée and I are going to try again. I’m putting it in God’s hands. If it happens, I know that my support system is strong overall and I can always come to this site and feel the love and encouragement that is shared here.

  118. ashley says

    I had my first at 22 and second at 25. I had surgery to remove my tubes at age of 37. I really wanted a third at 30 but was worried I was getting up there. Forty is godamn ridiculous….really ladies????? Just because your IVF clinic told you you could; it does not mean you should. Forty is not the new twenty. These clinics soak you with that belief. Sorry but it is just wrong!

  119. America 72 says

    This is in response to Ashley. Funny how women who have an issue with women having children at 40 are usually women who can’t conceive. Just for your knowledge, many women over 40 can and do conceive without medical intervention. If you think it’s ridiculous for women over 40 to get pregnant then you need to blame God, mother nature, or whatever higher power you believe in if any. I had my last four children at 38, 39, 40 and 42. They were all conceived naturally and I got pregnant within 1 month of trying. What is ridiculous is women like you who judge other women. For those women who want to get pregnant and are over 40, don’t let people like Ashley deter you. You are definitely not too old.

  120. liachoo says

    I already had 3 children in their 26, 24.n 20 from my 1st marriage. This is my 2nd marriage. He is 51 yrs old n is gis 1st marriage. I want to have a baby for my husband i love. Am 53 yrs old can i have n conceive?

  121. dgs says

    We recently had our first child. I was 43 and my husband 57 at the time. We have a wonderful relationship and are amazing parents to our daughter. We are now contemplating implanting our other genetically viable embryo at 44 and 58. We feel extremely grateful to be able to have this experience and don’t really consider any ones \opinion\ on our age and etc. We are both energetic parents, as well as healthy physically and emotionally. So far I feel we are managing parenthood well.

    Every situation is unique I would consider making choices based on your own personal situation.

  122. Shalom says

    I am 30, finishing grad school, and my husband is 36. We are ready to have a child and have been trying to conceive about 4 months without success. I am little disappointed and don’t know what to do!

  123. rachel says

    I am very grateful I had my children younger. I started young because I wanted a large family (5 kids). I had my three children when I was 25, 27 and 29. I am now 36 and have been unable to conceive after six years of trying. Including 2 failed attempts at IVF, failed IUIs, clomid, etc. The doctors can give me no reasons why I was unable to conceive another child when I started trying again at 30. I fall in the unexplained infertility category. My embryos from IVF looked \perfect\ and were genetically normal. Some women, like myself, are simply unable to have children at an older age. I do NOT consider 30s an \old\ age to be having a baby, but its older than 20s. I pray you all get your miracle babies, but my experience is that women are meant to conceive children in their 20s.

  124. Liz says

    Depends if you already have 2 kids than NO the world is already overpopulated with humans over 7 billion now and exponentially growing. The responsible answer to this question is a definite NO!! Please try and think of something bigger than yourself and your little family bubble world – the planet, the environment, world hunger, the strain on the resources caused by human over breeding. Put your ego aside. Give up the mummy club and give back to mother earth by being less selfish and not pumping out another kid because you feel it might be possible or a missed opportunity. Overpopulation is very real, stop being so selfish it;s not the 1960’s anymore..

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