Dr Oz: Toxic Sabotagers
Doctor Oz took a different approach to health in this episode, discussing Toxic Sabotagers. These are people in our lives whom we care about, but who never seem to be satisfied with what we do for them. Have you ever experienced Family Bullying? That’s what is happening in one home where the topic of weight loss is always on the table.
Just ask Jennifer, who said her mother has bullied her for years about her weight. She said her self-esteem is eroded by her mother’s negative comments about her appearance. But her mom thinks she is simply dishing out tough love.
Dr Oz advised a daughter whose mother constantly nags her about her weight and appearance.
Time out. This almost seems like a low-stakes episode of Dr Phil. There were some amazing staged scenes at Jennifer’s home, where they “re-created” some fights for the benefit of Dr Oz and the audience.
Dr Oz: Willpower, Weight Loss & Parental Bullying
Jennifer said she ends up sneaking food, because she is so upset about her mother’s comments and attitude. She broke down while talking about how it all makes her feel. Both mother and daughter have the same goal, but Jennifer said she can’t find the motivation to focus on her health.
She told Doctor Oz that she takes everything in from her family members, good or bad. Her mother, Valerie, said she thinks her daughter does not have the willpower to make healthy changes. She also called her daughter lazy.
Finally, Valerie explained that Jennifer is 28, so maybe step one is Jennifer moves out and lives on her own? Valerie seemed surprised that her words could have an effect on her daughter, whom she said is obviously old enough to make her own decisions.
Dr Oz: Family Bullying & Expectations
Valerie admitted that she has a blunt manner of speaking, and tells it like it is. Dr Brenda Wade, a relationship expert, said that Valerie is a bully, using words to hurt her daughter without thinking about how her words affect Jennifer.
Putting our expectations on other people creates “deep feelings of hurt,” according to Dr Wade. She asked Jennifer to tell her mother how she feels and get it out. Jennifer seemed to have trouble articulating her thoughts, and seemed to realize in the middle of the conversation that she found comfort in food.
“Why does it matter how I look?” she said. “It shouldn’t matter if somebody loves me.” But Jennifer added that she wants to take control of her health for herself.
Dr Oz: Patterns of Behavior and Putdowns
Dr Brenda Wade said that Valerie is trying to show love and concern, but that this mother is going about it in a mean way. “It’s hard to see ourselves when we’re stuck in a pattern like this,” she added.
Valerie was putting her daughter down and not even realizing it. Though these two did not seem to make progress, Doctor Oz said that these types of relationship troubles are common, and not just between parents and children.
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