Dr Phil: Deadly Love Affair
Dr Phil had a new sad story to share with his audience about a love triangle (maybe more like a love square?) that ended in tragedy. Ashlee’s husband Emmett carried on an affair with his co-worker Kandi. That ended when Kandi’s husband shot and killed Emmett, sending shockwaves through their small northwestern town.
In the aftermath, Kandi’s husband Rob was convicted of second-degree murder and is serving a 30-year prison sentence. In this episode, Dr Phil brought Ashlee and Kandi together for the first time since the emotional trial in 2011. They had plenty of ground to cover with one another, and each had her own perspective on this entire boondoggle.
Dr Phil: Looking for a Way To Move On
“I think that there was absolutely no intent for him to go there and shoot anybody,” Kandi said of the night she witnessed her husband fatally shooting her co-worker and lover. Kandi said she believed her husband’s claim at trial of self-defense, saying she felt Emmett would not have let Rob leave that day without a fight. “I’m looking for a way to move on,” Kandi said. “I’m looking for a way to say that I made a mistake. I don’t want to put any blame on you, by no means.”
If there is one person who is blameless in this scenario, it is Ashlee. Can you imagine having to find out that not only is your husband dead, but he was shot by his lover’s spouse? Kandi said she has never pointed fingers at Ashlee, but Dr Phil reminded her of some of the comments she has made about Kandi, who has been speaking out and is not shy about expressing her thoughts.
“I wish you would stop writing about me,” Kandi said.
“I wish you would stop sleeping with my husband,” Ashlee retorted, to the wild cheers and applause of the studio audience.
Dr Phil: Blaming the Victim?
Dr Phil said that, simply based on the tone and body language between Kandi and Ashlee, you would think that they had switched roles, and that Ashlee was the other woman who got Kandi’s husband shot. Ashlee did not care for this assessment.
“You had an affair with her husband, and he wound up getting murdered. But you seem highly offended by this whole thing, and I don’t understand,” Dr Phil said. He criticized Kandi for lecturing Ashlee, when Ashlee did absolutely nothing wrong leading up to the murder.
Dr Phil: How To Choose Forgiveness
These women still have a long way to go before they can leave the past behind. But just the fact that they started this conversation is another step forward. Have you ever suspected your significant other of cheating? Leave me a comment to tell me your story, or use social media to be a part of the conversation with hashtag #DeadlyAffair.
Part of the process of forgiveness is choosing to come out of the past. You are in control of your own suffering, and you can pursue a path to peace at your own pace. Though none of us can change what we have been through in the past, we do have the opportunity to reach out for the support and healing that might not have been available when we needed it.
For more advice about how to move on in your life, look for a book from frequent Dr Phil guest Troy Dunn. It’s called Family: The Good “F” Word: The Life-Changing Action Plan for Building Your Best Family.