Dr. Oz: NFL Abuse Scandal
Domestic abuse has been in the headlines ever since NFL player Ray Rice was seen hitting his then-fiance, now wife, in an elevator and knowing her out. This video, which ignited a firestorm, came before two more bombshell revelations of abuse in the NFL, from players Greg Hardy and Adrian Peterson. Even the White House spoke out and said the NFL had to do something about child abuse and domestic violence in the NFL.
Domestic abuse is one of the most under-reported crimes in America, despite the fact that one in four women will become victims of domestic abuse in their lifetimes.
Dr. Oz: Crazy Love Review
Dr. Oz talked on his show today about the NFL abuse scandal and the importance of knowing your options when you’re in an abusive situation.
Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of the memoir Crazy Love, came by Dr. Oz to talk about her own abuse and tell her story. She told her own story of meeting a man after graduating from Harvard who worked on Wall Street and thought he was her soul mate. Then he choked her five days before the wedding. She thought it was an isolated incident, then he beat her twice on the honeymoon. For the next four years, before she had the strength to leave, there was a lot of abuse, including a time when he held a loaded gun to her head.
Dr. Oz: Domestic Violence
Leslie said that when she sees the Ray Rice video, it takes her back to how bad domestic violence is. She said that Janay Palmer Rice has a terrible mix of love and fear, which Lauren said was how she felt in her marriage.
Leslie said that even though this is a terrible thing, it’s led to a great conversation within the NFL and the media and social media about what it means to be a survivor and what we should do about domestic violence. She also said that sponsors are telling the NFL they’re not going to support them unless they say it’s reprehensible.
Dr. Oz: Why Would They Stay?
Dr. Oz said that his daughter told him that her fiance tried to choke her five days before the wedding, he knew exactly what he’d do. Dr. Drew Pinsky, another guest and an addiction specialist, said that his daughter wouldn’t tell him, because there’s fear and shame associated with it.
Drew Pinsky added that this is shockingly common in America and it needs to stop. In addition, 85 percent of women who leave an abusive relationship return. Domestic violence affects more than 12 million people a year and 1 in 3 women experience physical violence from a partner.
Leslie said that it takes women on average 7 attempts for a woman to leave. She said she did this, too. She said she was caught in a psychological trap that felt like love and pity. Abusers sometimes say they’ll kill themselves or their partners or their children if the women leave.
Dr. Oz: Why Did You Stay?
Dr. Oz said that a number of women have talked on Twitter about why they stayed and why they left. Leslie said that the most common she gets and that all victims get is why they stayed. Leslie said that she loved her husband and she was afraid of him. But he had been abused as a boy and she wanted to show him real love.
She also urged people not to blame victims or shame them, because they deserve dignity and respect. But they also need to know how dangerous the situation they’re in really is.
Dr. Oz: Will The NFL Get Better?
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell recently said they got it wrong with Ray Rice. Leslie said this was a watershed moment because it was important for them to recognize they weren’t listening to women.
Dr. Oz: What Should You Do In This Situation?
Leslie said the most important thing she did was leave. She said her final moment was a time when he beat her so bad she felt like he was going to kill her. The police intervened and neighbors intervened. This made her break through her denial and she realized it was him or her.
Drew Pinsky urged women in these situations to know they’re not alone and to reach out to resources in their community.
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