Dr Phil Adoption Nightmare: I Want My Baby Back
When Kristen was 22 and pregnant, her ex-stepfather Adam agreed to take her in. He and his wife Stacy wanted to adopt the child, and they gave Kristen a place to stay during her pregnancy. But now Kristen thinks she was manipulated into the adoption. She was kicked out of the house a week after the birth and has not seen the child since. Does she really think she was drugged and tricked into signing the adoption paperwork?
Adam and Stacy think it’s clear that Kristen is not ready to be a parent. They say that’s why they got involved, and they insist that they have done nothing wrong. Could Dr Phil help this family find a peaceful resolution to this dispute?
Dr Phil: Was This Young Mother Tricked Into Signing Adoption Papers?
Adoption can be a difficult decision for a mother, but Kristen claimed to Dr Phil that she was tricked into giving up her baby. Now she wants custody. (lculig / Shutterstock.com)
Kristen told Dr Phil that she does not remember ever hearing that this arrangement would be a Closed Adoption. Dr Phil directly asked Adam and Stacy whether they drugged her and tricked her into signing away her baby. “We were helping this young woman before she ever became pregnant,” Stacy said.
Stacy also pointed out that drugging Kristen could put the child at risk, which would not be a smart thing to do when you aren’t sure what effect it might have on a baby. Dr Phil also questioned whether they threatened her if she did not give them the baby. The couple denied this, and Adam also said it was a months-long process. There was not just one moment where Kristen was signing legal documents.
Dr Phil: Kristen’s Change of Heart About Adoption
Dr Phil went back to the time the child in question was born. Kristen made comments around that time, suggesting that the baby did not feel like hers, and the child seemed like it belonged with Adam and Stacy as its parents. “You don’t sound conflicted or ambivalent at all about your feelings at the time,” Dr Phil. “But yet you describe yourself as confused and conflicted.”
Kristen said she did not recall making those comments or sharing such thoughts on social media. “The whole time, I was trying to justify everything,” she said, as Adam looked on sadly. “They were convincing me of these things, that this is what I wanted.”
Dr Phil: Why Did Kristen Leave Before The Adoption Was Final?
Incredibly, Kristen said she does not remember signing adoption papers. However, though she doesn’t have a memory of doing the paperwork, she does not dispute that the adoption was completed. Dr Phil showed a side-by-side comparison of Kristen’s signatures. She agreed that it looked like her signature on both documents. So she wasn’t saying she did not sign the papers, just that she doesn’t remember doing it.
Adam disputed Kristen’s claim that they threw her out of the house once the adoption was final. That’s because she left their house in January 2013, two months before the adoption was finalized. But Kristen said she was told it was final immediately. (Always read what you sign!)
Dr Phil: Legal Recourse in a Closed Adoption?
Dr Phil also invited legal analyst Sunny Hostin to join the conversation and provide her expert advice in this situation. Kristen does not have any legal options under state laws to pursue custody of her child. “This decision that you made is binding. This was a final adoption, and it was done legally,” Hostin said. “You don’t have a challenge to this adoption. That is over.”
Also, as Dr Phil pointed out, Kristen’s hostile attitude about the situation has probably not made it easier for Adam and Stacy, who are not obligated to include her in the child’s life. But there is a bizarre coda to this saga: Kristen is pregnant once again.
Dr Phil: Are You Thinking About Adoption?
Share your thoughts about this #AdoptionConflict on social media or in the comments section. What should you keep in mind if you are considering Adoption? It is a massive topic, and the information is different depending on whether you are giving up your child or adding to your family.
A great place to start is the Child Welfare Information Gateway, a resource provided by the US Department of Health & Human Services. There, you can get answers to frequently asked questions about adoption and begin the search for an agency in your area.
Learn as much as you can. Take your time and consider all your options. There is no ticking clock when it comes to adoption. But there are a lot of scams out there, so be cautious about how you invest money in this process. For additional resources, also check out the North American Council on Adoptable Children.
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