Dr Oz: Transgender Surgery Affects Children & Families
Several years ago, Brynne (formerly known as Bryan) decided to have Transgender Surgery. Brynne and her wife, Tina, have 2 children ages 17 and 11. Dr Oz asked how they told the kids about their decision. Brynne stated that she slowly dressed in more feminine clothes and when their oldest daughter had questions, she answered them truthfully. They tried not to hide what was going on. Their 11-year-old daughter always knew Brynne as dressing more feminine anyway, but when she had questions, Brynne answered them truthfully.
How Transgender Families Affect Children
Brynne’s told Doctor Oz that her biggest concern was for her daughters. Living in South Carolina, there were a lot of people with negative views. Brynne feared retaliation against her children, Brynna and Krista.
Dr Oz spoke about Transgender Support Groups.
Brynna (17) told Dr Oz that she noticed her dad was dressing differently, wearing short shorts and feminine tops. At first she was embarrassed about her dad for selfish reasons, but she got over it quickly when she saw how happy her dad was. Brynna told some of her close friends about her dad and was surprised to see how supportive they were. Krista(11) told Doctor Oz that she sometimes called Brynne dad and sometimes she called her Mom squared.
Brynne told Dr Oz that in the beginning she felt selfish in making this change, but she knew she had to be happy. Doing this would benefit the family. Brynna, agreed. She noticed a change for the better in Brynne’s attitude.
Dr Oz Transgender Surgery: Louie Becomes Jennifer
Louie was a rugged dad who was a mechanic. At age 4, Louie knew there was something wrong. He wanted to wear dresses and play dolls. Later in life, Louie had a son named Cody. With Cody, Louie tried to be the super dad, but he wasn’t happy. Louie made a decision to have transgender surgery to become Jennifer.
Cody, Jennifer’s son, told Dr Oz that he and his dad worked on cars all the time. They had the perfect relationship doing a bunch of “guy things.” Cody wanted to grow up and be just like dad. For 21years, Cody thought he had the perfect father.
For 51 years, Jennifer knew she was trapped in the wrong body. At one point, Jennifer was so confused, she held a gun to her head, ready to pull the trigger. Finally, she decided to begin her journey to become a woman. Cody felt betrayed, feeling “floored and blindsided.” Cody felt his dad had been lying to him for 21 years. Cody felt embarrassed and ashamed and thought Jennifer was being selfish and didn’t care how he felt. In the beginning, Cody felt as though he was losing his dad to “this woman”.
Dr Oz: Man Became a Woman
Becoming a woman has cost Jennifer everything. It was lonely and difficult, plus, she lost the great relationship she had with her son. For her, it was almost like a death. Cody hated his dad for doing this and didn’t’ care if he ever saw him again.
Cody hadn’t spoken to Jennifer for 2 years. On stage today, he told her that he was sorry, but he needed to get over Louie and had to deal with his dad being gone forever. It took time to realize that his dad was out of his life, but now he welcomes the new woman known as Jennifer because he understood it made his dad happy.
Jennifer told Cody that she loved him so much and he was everything to her. This was a difficult decision for him because he knew this condition would tear his family (especially Cody) apart. During this difficult time, he tried to inform Cody of the procedures and even had Cody meet some people in a support group, but she felt he never understood the depth of what was to take place.
When asked if he considered Jennifer his mom or dad, Cody responded “I don’t know.” He was still looking for that title. Cody’s advice for kids going through something like this would be to continue to be accepting. Keep your head up and don’t let negative comments bother you. Stay strong.
Dr Oz: Daily Strength Transgender Support Group
If you or someone you know is having a hard time coping with being Transgendered, check out the Daily Strength Transgender Support Group. You can also leave a comment below and share your experiences with one another!
Emily says
I am writing to thank you for addressing this issue on your show. I am a daughter of someone who transgendered 12 years ago when I was a senior in HS. I knew no one else who knew anyone who was going through this process. I attended Catholic school at the time and felt I had no one to turn to. I was scared to tell even my close friends. My mother had come out that she was a lesbian soon after my parent’s divorce when I was 11. While I had no problem with my mother’s decision and was happy that she was happy and found herself, I was still hesitant to tell my friends for fear of them thinking that I must be gay too. When my mom and her partner sat me down at 16 to tell me my dad was going to become a woman I did not know how to react. I was not mad. I just had no idea how to process this and had no frame of reference. In the coming months after my mother told me, I spoke with my “dad” on several occasions. We had always been best friends growing up and I missed him. But I could not get past the selfishness that I felt my dad was displaying. I was watching my mom work overtime to send me to a private school, pay the bills, try to give me everything she could, etc. Meanwhile my father was not providing her with any financial support since my mom had never filled for child support due to my parents trying to still work together to raise me and not feeling they needed a court to mandate this.
I got married very young, at 18, and decided not to invite my father due to the attention it would cause. Not everyone from our home town knew about the transformation and I didn’t feel comfortable with having this reveal be on my wedding day. From this day for about 2 years my relationship with my father was strained. We did not talk as frequently, visited minimally, and were for the first time in my life distant from each other. I didn’t know how to handle this on top of everything else in my personal life at the time.
Fast forward 2 more years and I finally realized I just needed to mourn my “father” and embrace this new person, Kaitlyn, who loved me deeply and that I missed greatly.
I look back and am sad that I lost time with my “dad”, but am happy that I know I will not waste another second in the future.
Thank you again for this show. I’d love to get in touch with people like Cody and other younger adults who have had parents who have transgendered. It would due nice to be able to talk to someone who instead of asking questions about every detail understood and could related with your feelings.
Emily
matt or says
I am a dad of a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son! I am transgender! I have known this since i was young that i was female and not male ! I often feel like i am a bad dad for feeling this way and a bad husband as well! I figured this all out after we were married i just thaught i liked wearing womens cloths . I also thaught that would go away after being married and having kids ! Lol nope! As i am getting older the feelings have changed into i know i am female ! But i can not get over letting my wife and kids down ! So for now i am struggling through the feeling trying not to dress or feel pretty or act like i want ! It is hard. i wish my wife would be more supportive ! I guess i can not ask her for that i mean she did marry a man ! With out the intention of a srs! I know this may sound crazy but welcome to my world ! Maybe one day i will find peace with this ! Wanting to understand me