Dr Phil: My Parents Won’t Accept My Controlling Pastor Husband
Wellbuzz update: Click to read an update on Sarah and Jason.
For the past eight years, Sarah has been married to Jason, who works as a pastor. Her parents, Bill and Laura, claim to be worried about Sarah’s relationship with Jason. The family came together on Dr Phil to sort things out. Sarah recalled that her parents have objected to all the dates she has ever had. Bill asked Jason to wait to propose to Sarah, but he chose not to. Jason’s mother-in-law Laura wore a black funeral dress to Sarah’s wedding, and the drama has continued ever since.
Dr Phil: Verbally Abusive & Controlling Marriage
Dr Phil met with Sarah, who said that her parents do not support her eight-year marriage to her pastor husband, Jason, because they think he’s abusive. (kaaaaaatik / Shutterstock.com)
Sarah’s parents told Dr Phil’s cameras that Jason is verbally abusive and controlling toward her. Bill even admitted that he punched Jason weeks before this taping when he did not like the way Jason and Sarah were arguing.
Jason said that all he did on the night he got punched was ask Bill to stay out of a private marital conversation. Though he admitted that he can be overbearing, he also said he feels the need to protect his wife from her parents.
Dr Phil: Disrespectful of Daughter’s Husband
Sarah’s mother Laura did not mince words when she characterized her daughter’s marriage, making sure to call Jason “disrespectful” in the process. One of her complaints is that Jason did not wait to marry Jason, like Bill and Laura asked him to do.
Laura recalled one evening when she and Bill saw the couple in a negative light. Though Laura said her daughter was scared and whispering, Sarah denied this claim. Laura believes that there is nothing Jason can do to make up for the past.
Dr Phil: Did Sarah’s Parents Do a Good Job?
“We have tried not to put our nose in their marriage,” Laura said, to the uproarious laughter of the audience. Bill and Laura seemed to agree that they would have more peace of mind if they weren’t worried about the prospect of abuse from Jason.
Dr Phil also pointed out that the parents’ concerns about some of Sarah’s weaknesses are a reflection on her upbringing, which they are solely responsible for. Then they disagreed about whether she is able to take care of herself on her own.
Dr Phil: Using Scripture for Your Own Agenda
Pastor Jason went on to say that he is not a biblical scholar, which seems like it would be a key component of the gig. Dr Phil called him out for his behavior toward his wife. “I really find it offensive when people use scripture for their own agenda,” Dr Phil said. Jason admitted that he is not currently doing the best job of setting an example for his family.
Sarah gave her husband credit for taking steps to make changes, but then Dr Phil wondered why he has a tracker on her cell phone. Jason could not really justify his interest in her every move throughout each day.
Dr Phil: Complaining To Mom About Husband
One way to get people to insert themselves into your personal business is to invite them in, and Dr Phil found out that is exactly what Sarah has been doing: complaining to her mother about her marriage. “It’s not fair to my mother or my husband,” Sarah said.
Laura then complained that Sarah is not getting enough action in the bedroom, which was a great definition of Too Much Information. Sarah thought that Laura has always hated Jason, but Laura claimed no one knows what her feelings are.
Dr Phil: Mom Wore Black Dress To Wedding
Why did Laura wear a black dress to the wedding? She explained that her choice was intended “to make a statement without saying a word.” Sarah also recalled that Laura hit two people at the wedding: an usher and a youth pastor. Of course, Laura remembered this differently.
Is there hope for Sarah and Jason’s marriage? Use #UnrestAtHome on social media to share your reactions to this couple and their story, or share your own experiences.
Dr Phil: Dealing with In-Laws
Navigating a relationship with your partner’s parents can be a challenge. Here is some past advice from Dr Phil that can help if you are facing your own homegrown drama.
- Set your loyalty to your spouse first.
- Set and maintain appropriate boundaries in your life.
- Conserve your energy to spend on your marriage and home life.
- Remind your partner that you are not his or her mother or father.
- If they’re your parents, you should be the go-between, especially if there is friction between your parents and your spouse.
- Remember that no one outside your relationship is a mind reader. They only hear the parts of the story you share, which often highlight the lows rather than the highs.
While dealing with your in-laws can be tricky, it is definitely possible to find a compromise.
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