Dr Phil: My 4-Year-Old Crushes Her Candy
Dr Phil hosted a custody battle between Whitney and ex-boyfriend Todd, in hopes of determining the best living situation for their 4-year-old daughter. Whitney says that Todd abuses drugs, but he thinks she is just jealous and out for revenge after he cheated on her. But who is putting the child first?
The two had been dating for just three months when Whitney realized she was pregnant. She put an end to her socializing, but Todd continued to go out drinking alcohol and snorting pain medication. Whitney is worried that Todd is an addict who cannot take care of a child.
Dr Phil: Joint Custody Case
Dr Phil mediated a custody disagreement between Whitney, who says her ex is an alcoholic drug addict, and Todd, who insists that he has cleaned up his act. (swatchandsoda / Shutterstock.com)
Todd thinks Whitney is intent on making him look bad. He said he filed for joint custody because he didn’t think he could win a sole custody case. Whitney’s mother Carole does not trust her daughter’s ex and is offended that he is trying to get joint custody.
According to Whitney, when Todd filed for joint custody, he had not seen the child in 18 months. He said that he had to go to court because he wants his daughter in his life. So far, he has been awarded supervised visits, but Whitney believes he is already up to no good.
Dr Phil: Fighting Via Text Message
Whitney claimed that Todd was snorting drugs in the bathroom during his supervised visitation time. He said that he was snorting anxiety medication because he wanted it to kick in faster, which is not a denial. “I did not do that in front of her,” he said, insisting that the girl was sleeping at the time.
Dr Phil confronted the couple with what appeared to be hundreds of pages of text messages, which he said represented just 52 days of their exchanges. That seems like an unproductive way to argue. Dr Phil also questioned why Todd is only allowed supervised visits. “What is it that they have deemed you to be dangerous about?” Dr Phil wondered.
Dr Phil: Snorting Drugs on Bathroom Hidden Camera
Todd said that Whitney keeps changing her excuses in court as to why he shouldn’t be allowed to spend time with his daughter unsupervised. Dr Phil then brought up a video Whitney shared on Facebook, in which he supposedly crushed and snorted pills off her mom’s bathroom counter.
“I did set up a hidden camera,” Whitney said. Todd wondered why she was videotaping him in the bathroom. He repeated his defense that he snorted the drug so it would work faster. Then Dr Phil explained to him that this counts as abuse, since it doesn’t follow the prescribed directions for taking the medication, and Todd conceded the point.
Dr Phil: Can Todd Handle Shared Custody?
Tammy, Todd’s mother, complained that she has not been able to see her granddaughter since she was an infant. “I’ve done nothing wrong,” she said, adding that Todd has been jumping through all the hoops laid out by the court system.
But it didn’t take long for Todd to attempt to confront his father, who agrees with Whitney and thinks he may still have a problem. Dr Phil did not care much for the crosstalk. Dr Phil gave the floor back to Tammy, who had plenty of questions about why she hasn’t seen her granddaughter in years.
Dr Phil: Grandma Hasn’t Seen Child Since Infancy
Tammy has even been buying gifts for the child, which Whitney has made it difficult to deliver at holidays and birthdays. Tammy resorted to leaving the packages on the doorstep, and was offended when Tammy shared a picture of the child with her cousin, but couldn’t be bothered to communicate with Tammy.
Then it was Todd’s father’s turn to speak. “I think Todd could be a great dad,” he said. But his parents have concerns about his history with alcohol, as well as the evidence of his use of other drugs. “Snorting pills? That’s a problem, Todd,” his father said. Meanwhile, Tammy wondered why Todd’s father is enabling him to drink, if he is so concerned.
Dr Phil: Co-Parenting with an Ex & Custody Clashes
This family had many complex issues to work through, and their path forward will continue long after Dr Phil’s show has faded into our memories. But one thing that parents can always agree on is that children should not be put in the middle when their parents have differences. Use the hashtag #CustodyClash to share your opinions about this situation on social media.
When it comes to co-parenting, make sure the focus is on the child. Even though an ex is usually involved, try to take the approach that you are on the same team. You both want your child to thrive in the world, and that can mean showing some consideration and respect.
Encourage the child to enjoy spending time with both parents, as well as members of each extended family. Be careful not to speak ill of your ex or family members in the presence of your child. The best question to ask when you aren’t sure what to do is: what is best for this child?
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