Dr Phil: Uncovering a Catfish
Previously, Dr Phil met Kathy, who was concerned that her stepmother Kaye had given her online boyfriend over $200,000. Kathy was worried that Kaye was being victimized in a catfish scam, but Kaye made it explicit that she was not interested in help from Kathy, and she didn’t seem particularly receptive to Dr Phil either. What would happen when some more of the blanks were filled in?
Most of the time, catfish victims on Dr Phil are devastated when they finally realize and accept the truth. It cannot be easy, especially when you are coming to that realization in front of a live audience (and later on international television). Kaye took a different approach, doubling down on her aggression in the face of some truths she was not excited about accepting.
Dr Phil: Catfish Never Sent Her a Photo
Dr Phil wondered why a catfish victim spent months and $200,000 in a virtual relationship with a man she never met who refused to even send her a picture. (remysharp / flickr)
One thing that might just blow your mind is that in all the time that Aaron and Kaye have been talking, and over the course of sending him $200,000, Kaye has never had any idea what Aaron actually looks like. That’s because he has never sent her a photo, claiming that his camera doesn’t take pictures…in which case it would be garbage and not a camera.
Kaye claimed that she has accepted the reality that she does not have a picture. She would like to have one, but she does not have one, and that is that, as far as she is concerned. Dr Phil looked back at some email exchanges between Kaye and Aaron. In November 2014, she was expressing more doubts about the things he had been telling her.
Aaron responded by explaining some discrepancies in his travel itinerary, as well as claiming that he was making an effort to visit Kaye for Christmas of that year, which obviously never happened. Dr Phil pointed out that it is not difficult in these modern times to take a picture of yourself. His point was that Aaron could have asked a friend or borrowed a camera to send her a picture. Kaye wasn’t sure why Aaron wouldn’t send her a picture, but said it didn’t bother her.
Dr Phil: Online Dating Scam Red Flags
“It’s gone on too long. Why should I worry about it now?” Kaye wondered about this entire circus. After Dr Phil introduced another of Aaron’s scam victims, and additional details forced Kaye to give up any hope that this guy was a real person, it seemed like she let her guard down and allowed the truth to wash over her. “People know the truth when they hear it,” Dr Phil said.
Dr Phil suggested that Kaye has had a voice in her head warning her about her relationship with Aaron. She has even pressed him or questioned him at points along the way. Dr Phil told her that she was right to listen to those instincts. No one, from a fellow scam victim to her own biological daughter, could say anything in the moment to make Kaye feel better.
Dr Phil: Stress of Being a Catfish Victim
“I don’t want to be in anybody’s life. I want nothing anymore. That’s it,” Kaye said. Dr Phil pointed out that this has been a high pressure situation that caused Kaye a lot of stress. But he hoped the silver lining was that the scam ended for her, and this story might be a cautionary tale for others.
The world is a smaller place than it used to be, and as we see more and more security breaches, it’s clear that crime is shifting to the digital world. That means we always have to be on alert and watch for suspicious activity. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore that impulse. Follow it up to find out whether your instinct was justified.
Here are some of the red flags that Dr Phil said Kaye missed or chose to ignore:
- Proposed to her after only “dating” one month
- Asked for money in the first month of knowing her
- Immigration confirmed $30,000-$40,000 not necessary to acquire/update visa; but she still sent money
- Asked for credit card information even though they have never met
- Asked for bank account information even though they have never met
- Convinced her to accept wire transfers from strangers
- Convinced her to ship boxes of goods overseas
- Won’t send her a photograph
- Always makes excuses not ot meet
- No friends or family to introduce
- Never revealed the name of his business
If anything like this has happened to you, or you believe you have been the victim of cybercrime, please visit the Internet Crime Complaint Center for more resources or to file a complaint.
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