Dr Phil: The College Professor and His Many Women
Dr Phil turned over his stage to a group of scorned exes who all wanted to confront the same man. Winston, the man in question, was a professor at a Christian university, but he also has a very active romantic life. Now, his wife Tanya is ready for a divorce because she has had enough of his manipulations. But she is not the only one. Two more of Winston’s exes, Julie and Kelly, were also on hand.
There is not a love lost among the people involved in this story. Winston understandably felt defensive and under attack. Who wouldn’t with three of your exes sitting across from you dredging up the past? The question would be whether Dr Phil was able to move the conversation forward into more productive territory, so that everyone might get something out of it.
Dr Phil: Gold Digger Dates Married Men?
Winston thinks his soon-to-be ex Tanya is a lying gold digger. But she and his other exes told Dr Phil that he is the one with an honesty problem. (thewolf / flickr)
Winston thinks of his soon-to-be ex-wife Tanya as a gold digger, and he has not been shy about expressing that to anyone who is interested. In a pre-interview, he also called her a predator and claimed she misrepresented her past. Winston said that he is angry that she made him fall in love with a fictional version of herself. He said he also found out that she has made a habit of having affairs with married men.
“When she was dating me, she was involved with other men. The neighbors described her house as having a revolving door,” Winston said. He also claimed to be surprised that she had 18 years of experience as a dancer in bars and clubs. Winston said Tanya has filed charges against him for perjury and theft by deception. But he thinks she is out to get him.
Dr Phil: Did She Lie About Her Dancing Past?
Winston said that Tanya also called his employer, a university, and he thinks this harassment contributed to him losing his job. He also believes that she is trying to steal his house out from under him. “I just realized that this was a complete heist,” he said before joining Dr Phil out on the stage. He said that he missed the warning signs because Tanya knows how to put on a good act.
Tanya sat across from Winston taking in all the things Winston had to say. She did confirm that she spent many years making extra income as a dancer, though she is no longer agile enough to maintain that income. She said she was upfront about this during their entire relationship, but Winston claimed he didn’t find out until they had been married three months. It sounds like Winston might have liked it more than he lets on, because Tanya claimed to have danced for him.
Dr Phil: Did His Romances Overlap?
Dr Phil wondered what changed between Winston and Tanya once they got married. Winston said that as soon as the rings were exchanged, she stopped participating in the religious aspects of their life together. What about Julie, another woman in Winston’s life? Dr Phil probed questions about the timeline and whether Julie was still living in Winston’s home when he began dating Tanya.
Winston denied that the timelines overlapped. Winston purchased a ring during his relationship with Julie that he never gave to her. Instead, he gave that ring to Tanya when things between them became serious. “I used the same ring when I proposed to Tanya,” he said. “I was never engaged to Julie.” That’s because Winston said he was never able to go through with the proposal, because he was listening to his gut.
Dr Phil: Sleeping with a Roommate?
Winston also suggested that Julie lived with him as a roommate, not in an amorous context. Julie also offered to be a live-in caretaker for Winston’s aging mother, who needs attention. “It got romantic and there was intimacy,” he said. Tanya said that this is different from what Winston has told her in the past.
The conversation looped back to whether Tanya lied about her past as a dancer. She said that she has always been honest about her past. But Winston disagreed, saying she left out a lot of things, like her eight-year relationship with a married man. Tanya said that when she talked about her past as a dancer, Winston became excited. Winston jumped back in to say that Tanya claims to have broken up many marriages.
Dr Phil: Confronting a Lying Ex
“I am so sick and tired of you trying to throw anything out there, just hoping that it sticks,” Tanya said. “You’ve gotten away with this up until now.” She was tired of taking the hits and was ready to stand up for herself. Winston says he was completely honest about his history when he began his relationship with Tanya, but when he gave an example, she said that was not the story he told her initially.
Later, Dr Phil introduced Winston’s exes Julie and Kelly to the conversation, and they each had their own details, questions, and inaccuracies to explore with Dr Phil and Winston. Could you imagine being on either side of this type of a mediation? Would you ever want to confront an ex in this way?
Dr Phil: How To Live with a Liar
Is there a liar in your life? If you are not sure how to confront someone who lies compulsively, the first step is identifying the problem. Then you can move forward in attempting to deal with the issues at hand.
Honesty is the best policy, and the idea that you lay all your cards on the table at the beginning of a relationship (especially before getting hitched) is a good one. Express what you need and be open so you can listen to the other person. Communication is a two-way street.
For more advice on repairing relationships, check out Dr Phil’s book Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World.
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